I've finally got a job! I've finally got a full-time, permanent job and my house is safe!! Hurrah!!!
With just two weeks to go before the building society said it would repossess Pither Towers, I have at last found someone who is prepared to employ a "47-YEAR-OLD", who is "A MAN", "WHITE", "ABLE-BODIED" (sort of) and "NOT EASILY BULLIED"! Double hurrah!
Who, I don't hear you ask, has taken this leap of faith and decided that there is life in the old dog yet? Well, it's no-one in the sexist, vacuous, ageist, immoral, talentless, back-stabbing, chip-on-the-shoulder world of PR, that's for sure. I have battled valiantly for two years to make ends meet in that stupid, corporate world and, try as I might, I realised the time had come when I just couldn't overcome the obstacles to employment (glass security doors, I think they are called) - hence my last two months of inactivity.
That's when it dawned on me. Over this last fortnight I redoubled my efforts to find ANY kind of work, ANYWHERE and a wise old owl said to me:
"What is it you actually do, Pither?"
"Well, I was a journalist," said I. "Now I don't really know what I am."
"I don't think you can really stop being a journalist," said he. "It's like stopping being a serial killer. It's kinda in your blood."
"Nice analogy, but I take your point."
So, realising that I should carry on doing what it is that I always used to do, I put in a few phone calls and - da, daaa! - the second daily paper I made contact with said "Come on in Piths, we'd be glad to have you aboard."
I start a week on Monday and will be a newsdesk assistant and head office senior responsible for taking the baby Biro brandishers under my wing. Hurrah! The money isn't brill - that's journalism for you - but I'm back on the pension trail again, working in a lovely part of the country, for a non-Nazi organisation and........well.......doing what I do.
The feeling is good. The feeling is very good. It's almost as good as that feeling you get inside when you see the stony face of some grasping, geriatric, Home Counties type when they are told the chest of drawers they have taken along to the Antiques Roadshow is just tat and only worth about £10.
Grantham shall not have journalism. The people will just have to make do with BBC Breakfast, The Sun and the Daily Mail.
P.S. I am so heartened by this news I shall post a gratuitous, sexist photo, just to cheer me up (and because I can, and because I'm old, and because I still have dreams) - and to remind me about my ultimate career goal and the publication at which I think all of my talents will finally be fully utilised.
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Shaggy Blog Stories
14 comments:
Congrats on the job! They've made a very good choice!!
Good grief! The poor girl...I usually don't feel inadequate in that dept. but wow, I sure do right now!
XOX
Reg great news about the job. Puts the tits i was watching this morning into perspective. (Do I have to give my blue peter medal back>)
Wouldn't like one of them for wart on the end of my ...........
Hey, that's really great news Reg! I'll raise a glass in your honor tonight. Is PR public relations? What on earth were ya thinking? That's Grantham on earth. Glad you're back on the sunny side.
lovins,
fiwa
PS, re: the tits? QUALITY, not quantity. ;)
First article
When two teenagers knocked on his door in the early hours to tell him one of his cows was sick, award-winning Shropshire cattle breeder Bob Lane was initially unsure of their intentions.
It was 3am when the youths carrying torches woke Mr Lane up at his farm. in
But when the farmer got to the field he found one of his cows was lying on its side on the ground and unable to get up.
And he said if the two young men had not alerted him the stricken Aberdeen Angus cow called Dolly, aged about five years, could have died.
The farmer, who breeds Aberdeen Angus cattle, now wants to meet the youths to thank them for their efforts.
They also left some money, which Mr Lane thinks might have dropped out of one their pockets, on the ground as they were helping to get the cow back on her feet.
He said he wanted to give them the money back
Oh, my, she's a big girl. But's fiwa's right, you'd get bored with them after 20 years and hanker after something more petite and managable.
Congrats on the job! Where are you relocating to? And is the STB EW relocating with you?? (Yes, I'm still confused).
Well,well...a paper whose hiring editor actually cares about gramma an speling (sic)
S'pose you wouldn't care to come out here and write our local sausage wrapper? No, thought not. The antipodean pull is not strong enough to tug you from your cherished clime!
(But congrats, anyway, Reg)
Congratulations on the new job Reg!! Speaking as a baby Biro brandisher you took under your wing years ago (yes, it was YOU who created me remember!), those kids are in safe hands. You'll get them defying the bosses in no time!!!!!!!
Love,
Big Ears
Congratulations.
I was expecting a picture of Rachel Weitz in a short skirt. I never learn.
HURRAH!I often find glass security doors between myself and my desire, but when the restraining order fails to work I suppose this is the next logical step.
oooh, I could be in that magazine...
But doesn't it look a lot like she has got hold of a plastic pair and is busy trying to clip them to her chin?
Well done with regards to the job. I should imagine you're liver is going to suffer even more, if what they say about journalists and boozing is true.
I wouldn't like to be in a ten mile radius of that woman if she was lactating.
Congratulations!
Personally I prefer women with smaller tits and an ample bottom.
At least your world is no longer tits up.
Good news Pither. Tell it like it is. I look forward to some groundbreaking news gathering in the coming weeks.
Good news matey. Glad the penny has finally dropped. Stick to what you're good at. I'll keep in touch just in case the pig thing goes tits up.
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