THE LORD TAKETH AWAY.................
My computer system is just about knackered. I keep getting booted offline about as frequently as a hummingbird beats its wings and so it takes half an hour just to perform the simplest of tasks. This latest boil on the bottom of Pither's life began growing the moment Telewest, my previous internet provider, was taken over by Virgin World Domination (Media) Ltd.
Like his trains, Branson's media operation is about as much use as a fucking ashtray on a motorbike! If my posting dries up for a while you can, to paraprhase Michael Jackson, Blame It On the Bogey (Who is Branson).
BUT THE LORD ALSO GIVETH..............
That billionaire hippy-cum-Count of Monte Cristo look-alike (Richard Chamberlain version) mentioned above tried to abseil or bungee jump or something down the side of a building today for some purile publicity stunt......and it ended in tears. The beardy twat slammed into a wall on the way down and ripped the arse out of his trousers. Pity he didn't rip his bollocks off!!!
Dicky, when you've finished darning your dungarees, fuck off to Grantham, there's a good chap!
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5 days ago
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6 comments:
We have NTL sockets all over the house, rendered almost completely useless by Virgin. It's the slowest, most unreliable internet connection I've ever had (and I've had quite a few HAHA!)and the other day our telly box didn't work AT ALL! Precious hours spent watching old episodes of Peep Show RUINED by Branson's incompetance.
To be fair, though, all trains are consistently late but I like Virgin ones 'cause they have red bits on. I'm so easily pleased sometimes.
my Small People were GUTTED when the Telewest/Virgin switch happened without due consultation to the people paying to be servied by these tossers
(in this case, that'd be me)
the Simpsons disappeared overnight! they had to revert to watching Blue Peter (not as educational, and far fewer life survival skills covered)
thank g*d we moved house and got a Sky Box is all I can say (mind you, they are a bunch of tossers too)
I like the food on Virgin trains, altho they do tend to understock cheese and bacon crisps and I can't abide salt and vinegar. . .
not that I'm fussy or anything
(BT do my internet now - no probs so far, altho if there were I wouldn't be able to let you know would I!)
ps I have breast envy
Apparently Branston is planning to take over Northern Rock and rebrand it Virgin Money.
Needless to say, I wont be investing.
All broadband providers are crap. I'm with Orange who specialise in outages. Apparently the future is Orange.
Is it fuck.
Fathorse,
I share your pain over the big V. I have to say, however, that puppies which have been hacked to death with a machete have "red bits" on them but that doesn't make them more appealing.
The Midnight Express was more predictable than one of Branson's cattle trucks.
ILTV,
Believe me, your breast envy is no larger than mine. No-one envies people with breasts more than me!!
Garfer,
If Branson did take over Northern Rock they'd open up unpredictably late every morning, you'd have to queue for an hour to get to the counter, there'd be nowhere to sit and when you did finally get to the cashier they would "regret to inform" you that they'd run out of cash and then you'd have to spend another four hours trying to get out because the doors were jammed "due to maintenance work at the Luton branch"
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