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Sunday 3 August 2008

About a Boy.....and a Cow.


So, Gordon Brown is on his way out.....he is, I assure you. Watch this space. The lizards who are our elected representatives are all now on their summer hols, having called in all those promises made about trips to the Bahamas, The Maldives and all places exotic in return for the dodgy deals signed behind closed doors to give the big corporations as much cash as they can eat - at our expense.

The poisonous, snapping species of said lizards - namely those obsessed by greed, ambition and the overwhelming urge to shin up the greasy pole of politics - are not, however, enjoying the company of prostitutes paid for by Saudi princes. No, they are too busy. You see, they will be almost constantly on the phone to each other, plotting to see who will support them, who they will support, who they won't support. Yes, these avaricious bastards are excitedly jostling for position ready for a new leader to emerge.

It's all too familiar, as far as I'm concerned. Remember when John Smith died and left Labour leaderless? There was possibly one of the best leaders the party had had since the war. An honourable, committed, principled man who, I am certain, would have done great things and made this country the envy of the world, had he lived. Even Gordon Brown decided it would be apposite to put aside the rat race of politics for a couple of weeks to mourn the passing of a potentially great man. Not fucking Blair, however. He was plotting, scheming and manouevering the second John slumped forward in his chair. All right, he put in a cursory appearance at the funeral - complete with his "this is very sad so I'm looking serious and sombre" face. His cheesey grin and "nothing is harder to fake than sincerity" skills soon came to the fore, though, and the rest, as they say, was a social hysterectomy for us.

There are two of the current crop of poisonous, snapping lizards to keep an eye on.

The first is David Milliband, aka Milliband the Younger. He is known as that for two
reasons. One, there is another Miliband in the rats' cage, namely Ed Miliband, and he is older.
Ed is Cabinet Office Minister. He is aged 14.
David is 13. He is known as Miliband the Younger because, apart from being the second to emerge from the womb of The Cloven-Hoofed One, he likes flying his kite, riding his bicycle, making sandcastles and Airfix models and playing with his iPod.
He is also, according to his entry in Who's Who, starting to get strange, stubbly hair growing in his genital area and becoming interested in girls. Oh, and I forgot to mention..............HE IS THE CURRENT FUCKING FOREIGN SECRETARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get your fucking mind round that!! His experience of foreign and Commonwealth affairs amounts to one school holiday skiing in Italy, an exchange trip to France and a visit to the Isle of Wight with the cubs!!!! Seriously, you just couldn't fucking make up his appointment.
Worse than being pre-pubescent, he looks like a fucking Jehovah's Witness. (Incidentally, apologies to all Jehovah's Witnesses out there. I mean, you are all just a bunch of ignorant, boring, dangerous and deluded twats who are so mentally backward and brainwashed that you think that being infused with other people's blood will really piss off God. To liken you to something as low as Master D. Miliband is possibly unfair).
Miliband the Barmitzvah Boy is one of Blair's clones. He is totally plastic, with no morals, no principles, no ideas and no sense of society. He is, in truth, a classic American politician, the way Blair likes 'em.

The second lower reptile to keep an eye on is my personal bete noir. It calls itself Harriet Harman. It is, in truth, a Zenog from the planet Thwarg and should be shunned at every available opportunity.

I FUCKING HATE HARRIET HARMAN MORE THAN ANY OTHER SENTIENT BEING IN THE UNIVERSE WITH THE OBVIOUS EXCEPTION OF THATCHER AND JIM DAVIDSON!
Like half of New Labour, this stupid bitch is a solicitor. That's enough to disbar anyone from becoming a politician in the first place, I would have thought. She is the daughter of a Harley Street physician - so is, of course, completely in touch with the needs and aspirations of the man and woman in the street!
Blair handed her the Secretariat of Social Security when New Labour got elected and, to cut a painful story short, she completely fucked it up!!
She was, at the time, dubbed Harriet Harperson because of her obsessive and ridiculous PC and feminist ranting. Hariden Harman would be nearer the mark.
Well, in true New Labour form, despite having proved to be about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike, Hariden made a return to the front bench after the 2001 election when she was made Solicitor General.
She voted for the Iraq war but later claimed she wouldn't have if she had been in possession of all the facts!! That....from the fucking Solicitor General!!! Since 2001 she has:
NOT voted on a freedom of information act.
Voted for introducing a smoking ban.
Voted for introducing ID cards.
Voted for introducing foundation hospitals.
Voted for introducing student top-up fees.
Voted for Labour's anti-terrorism laws.
AND...........
Voted against investigating the Iraq war.
Way to go, girl! Fly that Labour/Socialist flag!!

To give you some inkling of this so-called woman's brain power, hackers marvellously got control of her Blog in April this year and said she had joined the Tories. Not actually that far-fetched, when you think about it, but untrue. How did they manage to hack in? Well, Hariden was forced to admit that the incident was a result of her using "Harriet" and "Harman" as her username and password. Doh!!

This bitch also unveiled the EQUALITY Bill white paper in June. It included a proposal to allow organisations to take under-representation into account when selecting between two equally qualified candidates! The Bill, therefore discriminates against white men. Yup, that's what equality is all about, dickbreath!

Not content with that, she also commissioned a report on allowing political parties to draw up all-black shortlists. A further measure extended the arrangement allowing all-women shortlists until 2030. Now that's not discrimination, you understand. No, no, no, no, noooooooh! It's "positive" discrimination. It's different..........isn't it? Uuuurm, actually, having considered the matter............IT'S NOT FUCKING DIFFERENT. THERE IS NO "POSITIVE" DISCRIMINATION AND "NEGATIVE" DISCRIMINATION!!! THERE IS JUST DISCRIMINATION - AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M AGAINST IT!!

Well, if you can swallow the bullshit and lies she is feeding into the mainstream these days, you are no doubt in support of her current invented-for-her position - Minister for Women. Fuck off!! Fuck right off!!!! I am an ardent advocate of equality. Equality does NOT involve splitting us all up along manufactured lines and then legislating separately for each fragement. There are not "women" and "men", "blacks" and "whites", "gays" and "heteros", "fat people" and "thin people", "people who like red" and "people who don't like red", "people called Harriet Harman" and "people not called Harriet Harman"..........THERE ARE JUST PEOPLE!!! FUCKING DEAL WITH IT.

Well, just sit back and wait to see which of these wankers will step forward and say "Bye, Gord. Hey, everyone. Pick me, pick me, pick me!!"

The fact is, the fucking Tories will probably get in, anyway. The Great British electorate seems to have swallowed the crap coming out of Call-Me-Dave's mouth. Will the Tories be different to New Labour? You bet your arse they won't. Another five years of ultra-right wing shite! The fact is, the herd of voters in this fucking country would even vote for Eric the Dancing Llama, so long as he promised to cut taxes. They'd then start moaning in incredulity about all the fucking services being cut - as they have been over the last 30 years. Trouble is, they all just want to be "considerably richer than yow" and have no idea that their greed comes at a price. Fuck 'em.

(Miliband and Harman hold secret talks over who should take over from Brown.)

Miliband can go to Grantham, Harman can definitely go - and she can take the vast majority of the British electorate with her!

4 comments:

garfer said...

Milliband gives me the creeps.He has a square head, and is probably an android.

As the son of every lunatic leftist's favourite Marxist historian Ralp Milliband he was brought up in a town house in ultra posh Primrose hill. He makes David Cameron seem down market.

He might do as an alien extra in Doctor who, but he won't do as Prime Minister.

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

Not content with giving us one unelected Prime Minister, the "Labour" party now seem set on giving us a second. Bastards.

With only one wheel left on capitalism's wagon, I'd say we're all doomed.

Anonymous said...

Harriet Harman makes me want to vomit in my hat. So does Hazel Blears, because she has a somehow disgusting surname and a translucent face.

Sometimes, when I see David Milliband on telly, I want to put him in a box and bring him home. I'd put him in the cupboard under the stairs and bring him out on special occasions, dressed as a butler, and see if anyone notices. They won't.

Anonymous said...

I saw David Milliband speaking publicly once. I cannot remember one single fucking thing that he said.

BGT

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".