The Sensational Blog-o-Matic!

Have you bought your JML Super Slicer yet? No? Well, you're a fool to yourself!
This whizzo product is currently being flogged on the telly and everytime it pops up I am tempted to buy, buy, buy because it puts me in mind of the seemingly always-sunny '70s, when life was good, Pither was alive, mortgaging was something you did in Monopoly and the only baggage girls of my acquaintance carried around with them was a satchel.
The Super Slicer is.......well.......just a thing for slicing other things. It's not exactly a teleportation machine, nor is it a cure for cancer. It is, in truth, a completely crappy piece of crud (bearing in mind that the knife was invented centuries ago) but it is advertised in such a way that you feel you must be an idiot for not having one in your home. Nostalgia rears its ugly head because in the days of my youth there was another company which was always plugging equally ridiculous products on our screens............K-Tel! Remember?

K-Tel was most famous for its compilation albums.




There were winners such as Soul Motion, Super Bad and Dynamite, all with "20 Original Hits by 20 Original Artists" (despite the fact that each track was edited down to around 2 minutes). Although I have to admit I've got a box of these somewhere up in the attic, I used to prefer the Super-Slicer-type wonder products K-Tel also tried to flog.
There was the legendary Fishin' Magician. Then there was the Buttonmatic, followed closely by the Brush-o-Matic. There was the Hair Magician and,
for the more discerning customer, the K-Tel Record Selector or the equally scientific Cassette Selector. The beauty of K-Tel was that almost all of its products had one fantastic property - they didn't fucking work!
Ah, those were the days. God's speed, JML! Good luck. Take on the mantle of K-Tel and fill the attics of generations yet to come with worthless, broken, plastic gadgets. You shall not go to Grantham.