Take Me To Your Leader - Your Council Leader

A few days ago strange lights in the sky led me to believe that the Martians had landed. I was disabused of the notion by a kindly weatherman...........but now I'm not so sure.

Further evidence has come to the fore which does indeed lead me to believe that
aliens HAVE landed - and they have taken up residence at Oldham Town Hall. What leads me to this conclusion? Well, only some form of inhuman life form could have dreamt up "individual care" budgets!

What are they? Well, in days of yore, when councils were there to provide services to residents, if you were disabled in any way or had special needs you used to contact social services and ask for help. The council would then set about assessing your needs and provide services accordingly - eg. home helps for the elderly, transport for the disabled, nurses to bath you or help you use the toilet if you were incapacitated etc. The system involved residents paying their council tax and the council then allocating some of that money to provide the services to the less fortunate.

Not any more! No, the newly-installed Martians running Oldham (and no doubt others
have followed suit but I have not heard about them) now assess their social services users/disabled residents and then hand each person a wad of money for the year. It is then up to the person involved to ring round service providers, arrange a contract and then pay for what they want themselves. In Blairspeak it's called "empowerment". Strangely enough, this new system saves the council millions of pounds each year. Get away! You think? Of course it fucking does!!!

The poor recipients of this latest Blairite bung have to sort out Criminal Records Bureau checks themselves on anyone they need to employ, sort out the PAYE arrangements and arrange insurance cover while the council just sits there, scratching its corporate arse and counting the cash. It's the Blair way. There are no longer "people", there are just glycogenic, mini-businesses. Everyone and everything HAS to be a business.

There's just one tiny snag, however, with this new wundersystem. Like, how in the holy name of Fuck can a blind person, a paraplegic or a
severely physically disabled pensioner be expected to sort out all this paperwork and make all these arrangements? That's right - THEY CAN'T! This really is Blairism gone fucking mad!

Councils are there to provide services! If they no longer provide them of course they save shedloads of fucking cash. What is the fucking point of a council which exists merely to receive your council tax payment and then give it back to you with a note attached saying "sort it out yourself"?

Well, two can play at that fucking game. I have no kids, right? I do not use social services, right? I do not rely on the council for housing, right? So, I'm going to draw up an "individual council tax budget". I shall assess what proportion of my council tax is taken up by contributions towards education, social services and housing. I shall then deduct that from what I pay and give the council the paltry balance to keep the libraries and parks and open spaces going - oh, and to get my bins emptied and the street lights kept on in the dark.

Think of all the administrative costs it will save the council. Ok, the whole system will cave in but it is the Blair way.

Trouble is, I happen to believe I should pay for services to help others, regardless of whether I use those services myself. You see, I am not just in this thing called life for ME.

Fuck 'em. The Martians at Oldham City Council can go to Grantham.