Make your mind up you dick!!
We get the politicians we deserve, it is said. Well, Thursday's local council elections did nothing to disabuse us of that notion.
When I was alive - about 25 years ago - politics used to be a matter of principle.
Politicians stood for something. Ok, they were still largely the same bunch of greedy, fornicating, self-obsessed wankers who would sell their grannies (interestingly enough, in 1978 I bought Norman Tebbit's grandma at a car boot sale and had her knocked down and turned into a car park) but at least they stood in line under certain principles.
The vast majority of them used to stand in one of three queues, as I recall. Those
who lined up in the Labour queue (the one on the Left) did so because they BELIEVED IN public ownership of utilities, such as gas, water and electricity, and of major industries and public services, such as coal mining, steel making, health, the Post Office and the railways.
They also BELIEVED IN the principle that the rich should help to support the poor and so endeavoured to redistribute wealth through the tax system. They also BELIEVED IN public services and, because they cost money, invariably increased everyone's taxes to pay for them. They also BELIEVED IN the National Health Service dreamed up by Bevan and in the welfare state.
They BELIEVED IN equality of opportunity and hence state education, they BELIEVED IN trade unions and the rights of workers (it WAS the unions which formed the Party after all) and they BELIEVED IN nuclear disarmament and the rule of the United Nations.
There was much more they BELIEVED IN but those were their very core principles.
Then you had the Conservatives (the queue on the Right).
I find it very hard to be balanced and objective about the Tories but basically they disagreed with all of the above. They believed in the privatisation of industries and services, arguing that "the market" was the most efficient regulator of the system and so would bring maximum benefit to all. They BELIEVED that everyone was born with an equal chance in life, be they from a Glasgow slum or the Home Counties, and so hard work would be its own reward (I told you I find it difficult to be objective). They BELIEVED, as a result, that people should keep as much of their money as possible and not be forced to help others, hence low taxes and no redistribution of wealth. They BELIEVED that people should look after themselves and that only a handful were incapable of doing so, hence they BELIEVED that the welfare state should only be an updated version of the Workhouse.
They BELIEVED in spending heavily on the military and on nuclear weapons because that would deter other powers from attacking Britain, the underlying principle being that the then Soviet Union would invade nations which did not have The Bomb and would invade them a lot if they did not have lots of Bombs. They also BELIEVED IN the United States. The United States was, and still is, the wealthiest nation on earth (despite owing more money than all the other nations on earth put together) and so it HAD to be right. They also BELIEVED that the United States was the champion of freedom and democracy and so Washington was best placed to decide how other nations should be run.
The middle queue was made up of Liberals (or Liberal Democrats, as they restyled
themselves). These people basically BELIEVED IN some of the Labour principles and some of the Tory principles and were sufficiently unallied to either Party to deserve their own queue.
Of no value to this system, thank God, was a small minority of what were, and still are, known
euphemistically as
"floating voters". These were basically people who had no fucking principles at all other than "what's in it for me?", little intelligence and so voted for whomever they thought looked nicest. I shall return to these wankers later.
Anyway, got it so far? Phew! Thank God for that! So, what happened and where are we today? Well, to cut a very long and complicated story short, Thatcher happened, that's what!
She came to power in 1979 and began a dramatic haul of all that Britain had been over to the Right/Far-Right. The unions had got out of hand but she seized the opportunity to crack a nut with a sledgehammer and all-but demolished them. She then fostered and tapped into that rich vein of greed which underlies every nation and suddenly it was a free for all. Grab what you can! Fuck off! This is mine!! She sold off everything in the nation's metaphorical China cabinet, telling voters that it was their chance to join the "share-owning democracy". In the stampede to snap up Gas, Telecom, electricity and water shares etc, greed blinded the herd to the fact not only that they already owned the fucking industries and were merely buying them off themselves but also that, amazingly, not everyone was in a position to afford the luxury of buying something they already owned. All the live-for-today, unprincipled greed merchants wanted was to flog off their 200 or something shares immediately after and make a quick £100, or whatever. While they were busy spending this windfall, a windfall they had ostensibly scammed of people who couldn't afford to buy the shares they had previously owned, big business - largely in the form of major insurance firms and global "players" - moved in to buy their quick sell-offs and so seize control of what were public utilities.
The "greed is good" and "there is no such thing as society" ideals were steamrollered out across Britain and the police and military were drafted in to quell resistance (witness the poll tax riots, the Toxteth riots, the miners' dispute etc, etc).
Eventually, and cutting a curtailed story even shorter, Britain became a Right-wing nation and the notion that people used to support each other was forgotten. That's when the politicians really woke up.
Labour, under Blair, took a monumental decision. Blair decided that the only thing that mattered was power, no matter how you got it. If people wanted greed and Right-wing policies then they could have them. He consequently aped Thatcher and set about converting Labour into a more extreme version of the Tories, paving the way by getting the abolition of Clause 4 through Conference. "Ah, but once he gets into power he'll revert to Labour principles," the naive Party faithful whispered, no matter that such an approach was immoral. Well, when he inevitably got into power, did he revert to tradition and begin steering the country back to the centre/Left-of-centre? You bet your arse he didn't! He hijacked more and more Right-wing policies which Thatcher's regime had dreamed up but dared not introduce and the lurch to the Right went on at an unrelenting pace. Blair's only nod to decency and morals was when, no doubt fearing prosecution under the Trade Descriptions Act, he changed the name of the Party from "Labour" to "New Labour". Job done!
When Britain was politically on a par with the United States and the "what's in it for me?" doctrine was made not only acceptable but de rigeur, Blair then decided to adopt US campaigning methods to match. Politics was not and would no longer be about principles. There were, after all, no principles left, other than those of the Right and far-Right. When there are no opposing doctrines the word "principle" is redundant as it implies that it is just one of many ways. It is replaced instead by the phrase "THE way". Anyone who still believed in anything else was branded "a dinosaur" so as to belittle and ostracise them. History was also rewritten to prove that Old Labourites belonged to the land that time forgot and make it seem as if New Labour had always been right. Notably, the phrase most associated with the welfare state, namely "from cradle to grave", was reinterpreted to read "nanny state". Seeing as how politicians became indistinguishable in their beliefs, politics became about style, presentation, who looked best in a suit, who had nice hair, who did the best "photo opportunities" (goddamn, I fucking HATE that phrase), who loved God, who drank beer for the cameras, who kissed the most babies, who was seen with the most actors/actresses/yob musicians etc, etc.
Can you see it coming? You must be able to? Well, this state of affairs is tailored precisely to fit the "floating voter" mentioned earlier. As principles were crushed, floating voters increased in number, more and more people began ignoring others, the screams of "what's in it for me?" grew louder and so we got to the position we are in today where they form the majority in most areas.
So, cut to last Thursday and what did it illustrate? Well, we saw final proof that the vicious circle has completed yet another revolution and the Tories have adopted Blair's American-inspired smoke-and-mirrors/spin doctored substitute for principles to snare the mindless floating voters. The Tories have a new cunt in charge - David Cameron.
No-one knows where the fuck he came from, no-one knows where the fuck he wants to go, apart from to Number 10 Downing Street. There is a simple explanation for this. It's because, like Blair/Brown/New Labour, he doesn't BELIEVE in fucking anything, only in seizing power. He will say and has said absolutely ANYTHING he thinks will get him elected - and that's ANYTHING. I mean, what exactly are his policies? He hasn't fucking got any and yet the spin system and a Right-wing media have conned a gullible public into thinking that he is the man to lead this country. How? By relentlessly publicising his attacks on New Labour. Does he ever offer alternative policies. No!
The floaters (an apposite name), being thick, swallowed everything hook, line and sinker and so swapped their Labour votes for ticks in the Tory boxes. National politics should have little bearing on local council elections (as an ardent Socialist I have to admit that four of the six best local councillors I have ever met/worked with were Tories. They were the best because they worked hardest for their constituents) but if the floaters can be spun into believing that the now aborted abolition of the 10p tax band was an outrageous, new Brown policy - it was announced at a previous fucking budget but only hit the headlines when the media machine began working for Cameron - then they can be spun into thinking that Cameron will be personally emptying their bins on Monday if they vote Conservative. (N.B. As an aside, the extent to which we have disappeared down the political toilet is illustrated vividly by the fact that it took Tory pressure to overturn a Labour plan - yes, that's right, A LABOUR PLAN - to abolish tax help for the poorest in our society!!!)
Labour had not vowed immediately prior to Thursday's election to have children under the age of 12 sold into slavery. The Tories had not promised to give everyone £1 million if they voted for them. No-one had vowed to do anything - that would have constitued having a policy - yet the floating voters spoke again and Labour suffered its biggest local council losses for 40 years. More than that, affable and, dare I say, lovable Tory idiot Boris Johnson ousted Labour man Ken Livingstone to become London Mayor. Not because of policies, God knows not because of principles, but simply because the media had said Cameron was good, Labour was bad and that was all the floaters needed to hear.
What then does the future hold? Will the Conservatives go on to win the General Election? Well, the last time things were this bad for Labour at the locals Blair actually went on to win nationally. The floaters spoke then, having been intellecutally wowed by him subsequently playing the guitar and kicking a football, and they will speak again in the months to come. Brown might confess that he has been battling pancreatic mange for five years and hearts will go out to him, along with votes. The Cameron machine, on the other hand, might give their man a new hairdo and that will wow Middle England. Who knows? You see, politics is now, and has been for the last 20 years, in the hands of those people who do not deserve a vote. No, I'm not talking about Milwall fans, I'm talking about the unprincipled floating voters. They're the people who brought about unprincipled politicians. I hope they're all happy together. Fuck 'em.
Floating voters can go to Grantham.
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