
With that at home, wouldn't you go out and get a job?
Phew!! Don't know about you but I'm really relieved - Tony Blair has got another job at last!
He's joined investment bank J P Morgan at a salary of £500,000-a-year for about one afternoon's work every six months as a......as a.......a.......well, as a former Prime Minister. Funny, I didn't see that one advertised in the Guardian - "Wanted - Rabid, Self-Serving, Insincere, Judas-Admiring, Greedy Capitalist Former British Prime Minister With Absolutely No Morals or Sense of Shame to Do Fuck All for Neo-Nazi Financial Institution Other Than Agree To Have His Name Put Alongside Those of the Other Fat Cat Directors on Letterheads and on the Office Nameplate." It must have been in the "personals".
Anyway, I had been getting really worried about Tone. I mean, apart from that holiday job going around the Middle East telling everyone to play nicely and forget that he and his illiterate, drunken, unicellular, Texan twat chum fucked the place up beyond recognition by bombing the shit out of Iraq and leaving the region on the verge of anarchy, the boy's been out of work for a while.
I pictured him lounging around all day, eating delivery pizzas and drinking blue pop while watching Trisha and then playing snooker in the evenings before hanging around his local shopping precinct, sniffing Evostick and taunting Asian shopkeepers.
You've gotta admit, he's done well. It just shows that if you get up off your arse and get on your bike to go to look for work, it's out there! Ok, it's only a part-time job, but it's a start.
Well done Tony! You've done everything the state demands of you - except die horribly in a car crash!!