A Rare Snap

Someone, somewhere, wanted photographic proof that Mal The Pig Farmer and I had ever actually been in the same room together so, here it is.
Yes, The Biggles Brothers on tour! Which one is which? You decide.

(Pictured shortly before their arrest........)


P.S. Just gotta share this one. I was told this last night by the great Lamby (he from whom I was separated at birth). He said he went into his local boozer a while ago and was served by the regular barmaid whom he described as bosomatically advantaged but not overly bright.
He spied some cobs on a plate at the back of the bar and so, turning to said barmaid, the following exchange occured:
Lamby: "'Scuse me, love. What's on the cobs?"
Barmaid, turning to examine said comestibles: "It's clingfilm."
Laugh, I nearly passed me fags round!

An Apology

The more observant among you have noted that I posted last night's fascinating article about Mal Baby twice. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
There is a simple explanation for this crass error. It is that by the time I came to Blog I had downed a considerable amount of Chateau Chunder/de-icer and been to two pubs with the trainee pig farmer where many dry sherries and quarts of creme de menthe were downed.
On my return to the Towers I was not really in a fit state to operate the Blog machine and trying to feed instructions into a computer when you've got fingers like a cow's tits is difficult at the best of times.
I was, however, up for work at 6.30am today and left the remnants of MB snoring, breaking wind and belching on my settee.
He had brought his own little jarmies set, bless him, although it failed to hide the fact that he has the upper body of Brian Blessed but the legs of Kylie Minogue.
He has gone now, anyway, but very thoughtfully he left all the lights on in the house, the toilet blocked and the front door open. Some things never change.

Malc

I've got to write this before I forget. Oh, life just keeps giving you lines to make everything bearable.

I have been entertaining Malc tonight (he of 'The Edge of Nowhere' fame). Some of you might know him. He's my long-time chum who jacked in journalism to go and raise pigs on the Orkneys.
I love him like the bro I never had - actually, I have a brother but.......
Anyway, Mal Baby (for that is what he is known as to everyone he ever worked with) and I chewed the fat at Pither Towers for a while and then we adjourned to my nearest pub to continue our dissection of life's bitter ironies.
This was when, after the fifth pint, we fell to reminiscing. I coughed to the first lady to have enjoyed the pleasures of Pither's passion but then Malc followed that up with this memorable line:

"I first did IT with XXXXXX.
"She later went off to study zoology at Manchester University!

I had visions of her first day. "So, this is a hamster's penis and this is a man's penis? Are you sure? Only I know this bloke who........"

Bless him. He is my chum. He is a mad pig farmer but he IS the little brother I should always have had. Grantham shall not have him.

Malc

I've got to write this before I forget. Oh, life just keeps giving you lines to make everything bearable.

I have been entertaining Malc tonight (he of 'The Edge of Nowhere' fame). Some of you might know him. He's my long-time chum who jacked in journalism to go and raise pigs on the Orkneys.
I love him like the bro I never had - actually, I have a brother but.......
Anyway, Mal Baby (for that is what he is known as to everyone he ever worked with) and I chewed the fat at Pither Towers for a while and then we adjourned to my nearest pub to continue our dissection of life's bitter ironies.
This was when, after the fifth pint, we fell to reminiscing. I coughed to the first lady to have enjoyed the pleasures of Pither's passion but then Malc followed that up with this memorable line:

"I first did IT with XXXXXX.
"She later went off to study zoology at Manchester University!

I had visions of her first day. "So, this is a hamster's penis and this is a man's penis. Are you sure? Only I know this bloke who........"

Bless him. He is my chum. He is a mad pig farmer but he IS the little brother I should always have had. Grantham shall not have him.