L'armee Rouge!

Life is good! Life is, in fact, excellent. Why? Well, examine the evidence:

I am totally skint - booh!

I have beeen without a contract for two months now - booh!

The building society has threatened to repossess Pither Towers at the end of next month if I do not land a contract by then - booh!

My marriage has gone down the toilet - booh!

I am 47, almost completely spherical and in danger of losing all my hair and teeth - booh!

I last had sex (with another sentient being) in the year 3BC (and then with a frog) - booh!

............BUT............

Even though I am, at heart, a rugby union fan I can't get all those years of football completely
out of my blood and my beloved Nottingham Forest this afternoon won automatic promotion to The Championship - HURRAH! DOUBLE HURRAH!! THRICE HURRAH!!! Couple with that the bonuses that the despised Derby County (as in "We 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we are the Derby...'aters!") have been relegated and the loathed Leicester City (as in - to the tune of the Addams Family - "Your father is your brother, your sister is your mother, you all fuck one another, the Leicester family") are in danger of being relegated as well.

Right now, nothing else seems to matter. My boys in red (cherry variety) shall not go to Grantham.

P.S. Football quote of the day:
Birmingham City manager Alex McLeish, desperately attempting to explain away the lacklustre performance of some of his key players today as they lost 2-0 to Fulham and now look favourites for relegation:

"Well, James McFadden's wife has just given birth to a baby and that kind of trauma gets to a player."

Obviously considerably more traumatic than having your fanny stretched from the size of a small glove to that of an Arctic explorer's rucksack in an effort to bring McFadden Jnr into the world!