Life is good! Life is, in fact, excellent. Why? Well, examine the evidence:
I am totally skint - booh!
I have beeen without a contract for two months now - booh!
The building society has threatened to repossess Pither Towers at the end of next month if I do not land a contract by then - booh!
My marriage has gone down the toilet - booh!
I am 47, almost completely spherical and in danger of losing all my hair and teeth - booh!
I last had sex (with another sentient being) in the year 3BC (and then with a frog) - booh!
............BUT............
Even though I am, at heart, a rugby union fan I can't get all those years of football completely
out of my blood and my beloved Nottingham Forest this afternoon won automatic promotion to The Championship - HURRAH! DOUBLE HURRAH!! THRICE HURRAH!!! Couple with that the bonuses that the despised Derby County (as in "We 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we 'ate Derby 'n' we 'ate Derby, we are the Derby...'aters!") have been relegated and the loathed Leicester City (as in - to the tune of the Addams Family - "Your father is your brother, your sister is your mother, you all fuck one another, the Leicester family") are in danger of being relegated as well.
Right now, nothing else seems to matter. My boys in red (cherry variety) shall not go to Grantham.
P.S. Football quote of the day:
Birmingham City manager Alex McLeish, desperately attempting to explain away the lacklustre performance of some of his key players today as they lost 2-0 to Fulham and now look favourites for relegation:
"Well, James McFadden's wife has just given birth to a baby and that kind of trauma gets to a player."
Obviously considerably more traumatic than having your fanny stretched from the size of a small glove to that of an Arctic explorer's rucksack in an effort to bring McFadden Jnr into the world!
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Shaggy Blog Stories
6 comments:
You are fucking classic, Reg! Fucking classic!
Woohoo!
I'll travel down for next season's game at Molineux - you, me and all those rednecks. Although a Wolves man, I've had a soft spot for Forest ever since I saw John Barnwell waddle onto the pitch like a red and white beachball for a cup game at Peterborough in the late 60s.
Anyone who wonders what the point of football is should read your previous post and then this. A world without football and sport in general is a miserable place.
You realise, of course, that this silly affiliation with a fifth rate sporting entity negates all of your previously (apparently well reasoned) articles? Even Engels thought Forest were crap, and Che Guevara tried to have the City Ground turned into a people's cauliflower growing collective.
I may be forced to vote Tory now. How can I trust anyone?
Meanwhile at the other end of League One (bollocking stupid name) my local club got thumped 4-1 but still escaped going down to the fourth division. Say what you like about Derby, there are many clubs out there who would have killed for the support they've had, especially for away games.
Glad for you that Forest went up. I watched Bath demolish Saracens with the most devastating display of total rugby. No need for those Southern Hemisphere wankers to impose their mindless pointless rule changes. Hope things start picking up for you.
Well, the main thing is Ollie and his crap club owner Mandaric went DOWN - hooray. They pinched our manager and he is crap. And we ended up getting Sturrock back and we finished tenth, which is bloody good for Argyle.
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