Nobody Cares, Darling, Nobody Cares!

All praise to both the book and the man - the best things to come out of Wales since Charlotte Church's breasts.


While I'm in a Bloggy mood and the soddin' system is actually working, I want to start a campaign to get employees of the BBC to speak fucking English!! (I gave up on the other channels years ago - they are way beyond redemption).
Ok, ok, ok, trying to get everyone at the Beeb to learn the language is probably a little over ambitious.....but you'd think its reporters and newsreaders would have learnt their native tongue by now.
Here are just a few examples of things so many of those pig ignorant fuckwits in the BBC newsrooms should know but don't (all taken from just one national lunchtime bulletin, would you believe?)

1. The word "schedule" is pronounced "shedule" and not "skedule" - we are not the 51st state.....well not yet, anyway.
2. People "meet" each other, they do not "meet with" each other - and tautology is not the study of education.
3. To see Gordon Brown shake hands with President Bush "outside" the White House is disgusting. To hear that Gordon Brown has shaken hands with President Bush "outside of" the White House is far more revolting and should, in fact, be a criminal offence.
4. On paper, both the British and the US Armies have lieutenants. The difference between the two (apart from the fact the American ones are all called something like Kuntzman and cannot walk and chew gum at the same time) is that in Britain the rank is pronounced "lefftenant" and not "loutennant".
5. An essay is when someone tries "to" do something. They never try "and" do something.
6. It is lazy and incorrect to say, for instance, "England's Tower of London". The building is "The Tower of London in England". Who else fucking has one?
7. The organisation is the "St John Ambulance", not the "St Johns Ambulance".
8. People wed in a "register" office, not a "registry" office.

I may appear pedantic, even arrogant and pompous, but IT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT. I'm going for a lie down now. My head is hurting again.
(P.S. Use of the word "fuck" and its derivatives is neither poor English nor a demonstration of a limited vocabulary. Just ask Stephen Fry. Then again, if neither he nor I can convince you.......................go fuck yourself!)