All praise to both the book and the man - the best things to come out of Wales since Charlotte Church's breasts.
While I'm in a Bloggy mood and the soddin' system is actually working, I want to start a campaign to get employees of the BBC to speak fucking English!! (I gave up on the other channels years ago - they are way beyond redemption).
Ok, ok, ok, trying to get everyone at the Beeb to learn the language is probably a little over ambitious.....but you'd think its reporters and newsreaders would have learnt their native tongue by now.
Here are just a few examples of things so many of those pig ignorant fuckwits in the BBC newsrooms should know but don't (all taken from just one national lunchtime bulletin, would you believe?)
1. The word "schedule" is pronounced "shedule" and not "skedule" - we are not the 51st state.....well not yet, anyway.
2. People "meet" each other, they do not "meet with" each other - and tautology is not the study of education.
3. To see Gordon Brown shake hands with President Bush "outside" the White House is disgusting. To hear that Gordon Brown has shaken hands with President Bush "outside of" the White House is far more revolting and should, in fact, be a criminal offence.
4. On paper, both the British and the US Armies have lieutenants. The difference between the two (apart from the fact the American ones are all called something like Kuntzman and cannot walk and chew gum at the same time) is that in Britain the rank is pronounced "lefftenant" and not "loutennant".
5. An essay is when someone tries "to" do something. They never try "and" do something.
6. It is lazy and incorrect to say, for instance, "England's Tower of London". The building is "The Tower of London in England". Who else fucking has one?
7. The organisation is the "St John Ambulance", not the "St Johns Ambulance".
8. People wed in a "register" office, not a "registry" office.
I may appear pedantic, even arrogant and pompous, but IT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT. I'm going for a lie down now. My head is hurting again.
(P.S. Use of the word "fuck" and its derivatives is neither poor English nor a demonstration of a limited vocabulary. Just ask Stephen Fry. Then again, if neither he nor I can convince you.......................go fuck yourself!)
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Shaggy Blog Stories
16 comments:
Oy vay! I'm chomping at the bit to hear more off of your blog, so much better compared to all the others. You have a great future ahead of you.
PS: What about travel broadcasters' favourite - heading southbound?
PPS: Why does Five Live's Chris Waddle pronounce penalty "pelanty"?
My big hate is "ahead of" - a favourite of Radio 5's sports cretins. As in Clarke Gumble is injured ahead of Spork FC's big European Cup clash with Trablzzzzxpr. What did the word before ever do wrong? Do we ever say "I'm suffering an injury behind that game last night"? No, quite.
*scuttles away with collar turned up*
My peeve (apart from the fact that most female 'news' 'readers' here need immediate adenoid surgery):
".....was taken to THE hospital....is currently in THE hospital...".
No. Stop it now. You will only make yourself more cross, and you know how that upsets your digestive process don't you? I notice that people are already including sports commentators in the comments. It will never end. Recognise now that the language has been hijacked by the wordblind, and have a nice cup of herbal tea.
my father was a stickler for this sort of attention to detail. . .
we weren't allowed to describe anything as "fabulous", he said that meant the thing we were describing was fantasy not reality
we were never allowed to say "I'm going to go to the xxx", he'd say "you can't go to go" and we'd have to say "I'm about to go to the xxx" or "I'm planning to go to the xxx"
he also used to tell me off for endless, needless chattering on
I'll stop here
New game now, children. Let's play 'spot the former sub-editors'.
I was a bit disappointed with the Humphries v Paxman clash a few days ago. I thought Humphries let him off by trying to be funny.
Mrs BW comes over all hot and bothered when someone, usually from across the pond, says controversy by placing the stress on the second sylable.
Enjoying your writing. Excellent.
I always pictured you as much younger than that photo of Elvis. . .
:-)
How to answer so many comments when I have been away and not moderating at full speed?
Well, in brief, lovely to hear from you all.You know I agree with anything/everything you say. Arabella -I'm glad Blogger seems to be working for your again. I hope Texas is still better than Wolverhampton (I suspect it might be). Malc - once a reporter, always a pig farmer. First Nations - it's been so long (but enough of our problems). Welcome back.
ILTV - you are rapidly becoming my heroine. We fight and then josh - you are a top girl.
Vicus - I fear we were separated at birth (a good thing for society in general).
Birdwatacher - hello and welcome to my personal grief hole.Thank you for the kind words. I hope you stay in touch.
(if only I was humble enough to leave your wonderful compliment unanswered - in my defense [should that be a c or an s?] I want to say this: I'm an experienced "blogger" - been around far longer than you might think from ILTV, it's a learning curve Mr P! sadly there is still a lot I need to learn about humility and almost every other aspect of life in general)(but thanks for the sweet thought, don't think I've ever been anyone's heroine before)(usually I'm somebody's mush bucket)(and then someone else chunders into it)
Dear ILTV,
It's a "c" - but you're still my heroine.
does that mean I get to dress up in armour (with shoulder pads, I'm sure) and ride a white stallion about, rescuing people. . .
;-)
(a "c" - yikes; my spelling has been affected by too many correspondents from across the pond)(should that be effected?)(ha ha ha)
:-D
I'm led to believe the traditional way of doing things is that YOU get rescued. As to the white stallion thing, what you do in your spare time is between you and the Guinness Book of Records.
...........and no, you were right as you were - with an "a".
Bad language in a public placemarks you as either low, or a degenerate. Or both.
P.S Thatcher forever. And death to Socialism. Or rather, more death.
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