"Oo, look darling, those wankers at Powergen have stiffed us out of £130 and the interest."I received my "power invoice" today from Powergen. Paying as I do by monthly direct debit, I never normally read it. I only check the colour and if it's not red it just gets filed in the "Gunna Come In Handy For The Court Case" pile of crap I have amassed in the slightly enlarged airing cupboard I laughingly call my study.
A colonic stirring came upon me after I opened the envelope and, being a man and so unable to just sit and stare silently at the back of the toilet door while nature takes its course, I took it into the loo to read.
Shit!! (no pun intended). Turns out I am £94-something in CREDIT. Not only that, the previous quarter Powergen had been into me for £130-something I had overpaid for gas and lecky used. I double checked the contents of the envelope to find leaflet upon leaflet plugging more ways of bunging the firm cash - but no cheque for the dosh I am owed, let alone the interest accrued on it.
Let's just play role reversal for a moment. Imagine I was busy burning their gas (wasn't it OUR gas once?) and plugging in to tap their electricity (ditto) and ran up a bill of £130 without paying them a brass farthing. Would they let it ride? Would a Powergen letter arrive saying "No sweat Chucklebunny, give us something when you've got it. I know the run-up to Chrimbo is a difficult time. Take it as an interest free loan to tide you over until you're less strapped. Hugs 'n' kisses, the boys and girls at Powergen"? Would it bollocks! Their bloody solicitors would be in the post faster than you can say "Die debtor, die!". You would immediately be plunged into freezing darkness by a flick of a switch at their end and then threats of court action, treatment with leeches, castration and piano wire round the knob would ensue!
What is the resort to justice they offer me? "Oh, chill man (unfortunate choice of words). We'll knock it off your next bill in three months time." In the meantime, no doubt, the capital and interest built up will probably be used to pay bailiffs to evict all the hard-pressed pensioners who fall behind with their payments as they attempt to stop their gonads beginning to ice-over with the onset of winter while surviving on the £4 8s 6d they get from the state in return for the £84 billion they have paid in to the pension pot over the years. There again, the sneakily acquired windfall is probably used to pay for handjobs and "rabbits" for all Powergen's shareholders. They MUST cum first.
Gits! Isn't it time all of Grantham's billing services were run on these lines?
A colonic stirring came upon me after I opened the envelope and, being a man and so unable to just sit and stare silently at the back of the toilet door while nature takes its course, I took it into the loo to read.
Shit!! (no pun intended). Turns out I am £94-something in CREDIT. Not only that, the previous quarter Powergen had been into me for £130-something I had overpaid for gas and lecky used. I double checked the contents of the envelope to find leaflet upon leaflet plugging more ways of bunging the firm cash - but no cheque for the dosh I am owed, let alone the interest accrued on it.
Let's just play role reversal for a moment. Imagine I was busy burning their gas (wasn't it OUR gas once?) and plugging in to tap their electricity (ditto) and ran up a bill of £130 without paying them a brass farthing. Would they let it ride? Would a Powergen letter arrive saying "No sweat Chucklebunny, give us something when you've got it. I know the run-up to Chrimbo is a difficult time. Take it as an interest free loan to tide you over until you're less strapped. Hugs 'n' kisses, the boys and girls at Powergen"? Would it bollocks! Their bloody solicitors would be in the post faster than you can say "Die debtor, die!". You would immediately be plunged into freezing darkness by a flick of a switch at their end and then threats of court action, treatment with leeches, castration and piano wire round the knob would ensue!
What is the resort to justice they offer me? "Oh, chill man (unfortunate choice of words). We'll knock it off your next bill in three months time." In the meantime, no doubt, the capital and interest built up will probably be used to pay bailiffs to evict all the hard-pressed pensioners who fall behind with their payments as they attempt to stop their gonads beginning to ice-over with the onset of winter while surviving on the £4 8s 6d they get from the state in return for the £84 billion they have paid in to the pension pot over the years. There again, the sneakily acquired windfall is probably used to pay for handjobs and "rabbits" for all Powergen's shareholders. They MUST cum first.
Gits! Isn't it time all of Grantham's billing services were run on these lines?
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