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Sunday 27 July 2008

About a Boy...........and a Girl.

Here is the news in brief.

1. Mrs Pither's status has been ugraded again. You may remember that she shifted from The Soon-To-Be Ex-Mrs Pither to the Very-Soon-To-Be last year? Well, she's now up to the Imminently Ex-Mrs Pither. In short, she has a new man. He is, of course, a self-obsessed, boring twat (grapes? Acidity?) but Hell, how on earth could she ever hope to follow Pither! No doubt he will eventually prove to be not as much of an arsehole as he is currently (I have met him and she has known him for years) but, as Jordan's publicity agent once said, you can't really polish a turd.

2. You may not believe this but............Pither has found someone else as well!!! For the cynical and suspicious out there, we got together months after Mr P announced news of her new beau. I shall write more about my lady in future but, suffice to say, she is lovely!! I just wish I had met her 20 years ago. She is beautiful, she is very intelligent, she is very funny and...........she has unfeasibly large chest furniture. Hurrah!! Sadly, she does not live over an off-licence or have a Nottingham Forest season ticket but, apart from that, she is perfect.

3. I have got a new dog! The truth is, I took the death of my beloved Pad earlier this year very hard. I suppose I am still not over it and think about him all the time.
There is a saying round at Pither Towers that I do not find rescue dogs - they find me. True to form, I did a story about another German Shepherd dog which was rescued by an animal welfare charity. The poor lad had been found collapsed in a town about 20 miles from where I work. He was so starving he weighed just 20 kilos (two thirds of what he should have done) and he had appalling mange which had left him all-but bald from the neck down. He was close to death but the rescue people nursed him back from the brink in the month they had him........and then Pither entered the frame.
I couldn't get his story out of my mind and eventually I buckled and rang the charity to ask about him. A string of phone calls followed which culminated in me and my three other dogs going over to see him last Wednesday.
They had done well with him - he had gained six kilos during his month-long stay - but he was still in a sorry state. However, he got on with my pack, was very friendly and seemed full of fun. He was back at Pither Towers the same night!!!!
When he first arrived I think you can see what a poor condition he was in. He also looked deeply troubled, understandably.



In just five days he has come on massively. He now looks happier, he is playing with the other dogs, having sorted out his place in the pecking order (like Pad, at the bottom!), he is eating like a horse and he is full of beans. He sleeps on the bed with me and makes a real fuss when I come home after work. In truth, he is fantastic and has a great life ahead of him.




I took him to the vet's yesterday for a full check-over. As a result, he is now microchipped, insured, he has undergone blood and skin tests to take his treatment forward and has been wormed.
Back home, he has a new bed, a new, leather collar, a nice nametag, a box of fluffy toys (Alsatians love soft, fluffy toys for some reason) and piles of pasta, rice and dog food whenever he wants them.

Oh, and his name. Padfoot was the only dog I had ever rescued who came without a name and so I was able to choose one. Well, the new boy, who is definitely following in Pad's pawsteps, didn't have a name either. So, I have fulfilled a lifelong ambition.........................I have called him Dave. I've always wanted a dog called Dave.

There, life is good! The corner has been turned. I'm tempted to let everyone out of Grantham today but, bearing in mind we could soon have a state funeral for Thatcher which would change my mood, I had better keep everything in there for now.

TTFN

7 comments:

The Birdwatcher said...

Reg - Pleased to hear that things are looking good for you. A big thanks for the previous post and the bit from the paper about leaving your camera on. I have just been to check and I like the t that I am had left ours on from this morning so a lucky escape I think.

Gin said...

Oh Reg, you are truly an angel to adopt this poor dog. Altho now I know he's not a "poor" dog...he's probably one of the luckiest dogs in the world!! He will have a wonderful life with you. I think Padfoot is the one who led you to him. And I love the name Dave! It's so ....um...manly!! I can't wait to see photos of Dave as he blooms under your good care.

Congrats on the new femme in your life. She's lucky too!

"Furniture"? Ahahahahaha

fiwa said...

Wait, am I in the right place? Is this Grantham New Town? Because I would swear that post was almost giddy.

Seriously, I am glad to hear about the new lady and her...furniture. And I am not at all surprised by #3. You are big-hearted, and I love the story of Dave. Poor thing - he looks so pathetic. I'm glad he found a good home with you and your pack.

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

Oh goody! Another monster to assault me as soon as I step over the threshold.

Dave sounds fun too.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff Reg!! Dave is looking fantastic already compared to how the poor thing was when you took him in. Nice one, and the name is perfect!!

And congrats on the new beau. Although I'm reminded how you once sang, a la James Nesbitt in the Yellow Pages ad, "Life is great and life is fine cos I've got a girl and no-one like YOU!" to me, much to your own amusement...

Love, as always,
Big Ears

Brad said...

1) The hell with her.

2) Good for you !

3) I love you man (and Dave) You made me cry just a bit. Are you happy with your self now? Huh?

Anonymous said...

Pither.. had we met 20 years ago, you'd have been renamed Peter File and locked up :-)
Awww... you are sweet.. such lovely compliments.. I shall ignore the 'chest furniture' bit (putting it down, largely, to the fact that you are a Mere Male!!) and refuse to even comment on whether or not you shall be granted access to my drawers!!!
You're not so bad yourself, you know... and that's as schmaltzy as I get - well.. in public, anyway!!
I have to go.. I have to send a grovelling text to a man now.. as to why I didn't ring him last night.. yes.. I have Pither-itis.. i.e. falling asleep at a silly o'clock, then waking up at half past silly o'clock.. unike Pither.. who falls asleep at silly o'clock, cuddling Dave - and doesn't wake up for 14 hours ;-)
I shall text the REAL truth - a squirrel cut our power supply and I had no phone.. and my mobile was uncharged... think I'll get away with it ?
A bientot, Wordsmith... x
Yours... Marjorie
p.s. hope you apologised to Brad for making him cry!!!!

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".