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Tuesday 22 July 2008

From the Cradle to the Grave.

It's 6.45am and I'm about to leave for another tour of duty on the C&C. I'm at an inquest at 8.30am, then I've got to door knock a woman whose husband was beaten to death outside their home yesterday............It's the glamour I go for, and the uplifting work (NB, shed no tears for the battered one - he was a scumbag who had a record as long as a Ghurka's cock for robberies, GBH and assaults).
As death is all that seems to await me, I am in a downbeat mood and so might not be as chirpy, optimistic, and Pollyannaish as I normally am (it's called sarcasm) but I just had to put on record one little thought in the wake of the news.

New Labour is about to undertake "the biggest shake-up of the benefits system since Beveridge". In short, they are going to get yet more private companies in and this time, instead of fucking up the railways, making our hospitals as clean as a mud wrestler's arse and losing our kids' SATs tests, they want them to run the benefits system.
How will that work, you ask (and if you don't you should)? Well, the huge wad of cash we - Joe and Josephine Taxpayer - pay for benefits to the less fortunate is given directly to these companies. The outgoings of these companies are the benefits payments. Companies HAVE to make big profits (Thatcher's Law of Greed), so, to make profits they have to dish out less in benefits payments than we give them money for. It doesn't take a genius to work that baby out, does it? If the companies stop giving loads of people benefits then they will be quids in.
But Reg, there ARE scroungers on the system who just scam benefit because they can't be arsed to work (I'm talking to myself again). Yes, there most certainly are - I know of a few myself. But does not the phrase involving the words "baby" and "bathwater" come to mind? These Nazi outfits won't give a sod who is deserving and who is not. They will have targets to meet and so it will be a case of "Sorry Mrs Johnson, I realise you are a blind paraplegic with terminal cancer and no ears but we think it's time you started fending for yourself - keerrching! Oh, Adam, our bonuses will take us to Colorado for the skiing this year!"
New Labour says it is "helping people back into work". Yeah, right. In the same way that Nazi camp guards used to "help people into the showers".
Fuck 'em! Fuck 'em all!!

Beveridge foresaw the system as taking care of everyone "from the cradle to the grave". God, if only he knew how prophetic the last part of that anthem was to be.

I've sent New Labour in and out of Grantham more times than....than....than....more times than a thing which goes in and out a lot (make up your own gags) but they've got to go again.

Have a lovely day. I won't.

6 comments:

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

Life is full of disappointments, but the sight of a "Labour" Government completing Thatcher's work is among the worst.

Incidentally, did I dream it or was there a suggestion over the weekend that the old witch be given a State Funeral? Dear God!

garfer said...

They should be able to get whole extended families in Glasgows east end who have a combined benefit income greater than the GDP of Venezuela. This they supplement with the proceeds of drug dealing.

Unfortunately it'll be the poor bastards that don't (or won't) work the system that will end up getting shafted.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you might need a beer tonight. Call if you're serious about some proper drinking. A Tuesday night session should be more cheerful than an inquest, if only marginally.

BGT

Gin said...

I always hated having to interview people who were going thru some sort of horrible tragedy in their lives. I cry too easily and it's hard to keep a professional demeanor when you're weeping like a virgin on her wedding night! Terribly embarrassing!

As far as your New Labor is concerned...sounds like Grantham is a good place for them...over and over and over!

Brad said...

I used to be fool enough to think the goverment was there to help citizen.

Ignorance is bliss.

Anonymous said...

I dunno what you go on about.. I absolutely adore Maggie.. and Tone.. I think you reeeeeeeaaaaaally do over-react!!!!! Yours.. Marjorie Trim

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".