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Friday 25 April 2008

She


Way to go girl! Sisters are doing it for themselves!!

Not exclamations you often hear from Pither, I'll grant you, but I have at last found a holder of XX chromosomes to whom the adulation applies.

This future for personkind is the 11-year-old daughter of a really good friend of mine and she is destined for greatness. I know this having heard a story about her which came my way yesterday.

She - as in She Who Must Be Obeyed - has a nine-year-old brother who is almost a cartoon kid! He is Dennis the Menace, The Incredible Hulk and The Joker rolled into one and would, ordinarily, make any other sister's life a misery. His latest stunt, which saw him rushed to casualty, was to spend an hour in the bathroom shaving his whole body with his mum's razor! Not having a single bodily hair because of his tender years, all he succeeded in doing was flaying himself alive and the blood, I am told, took hours to clean away. When asked by his mum why he decided to shave himself he just barked: "Well, you do it!!"

Anyway, a few weeks ago this mini-monster, true to form, decided that he wanted a tattoo! Not a little tattoo, mind. No. A bloody big one, a la Beckham! Having made that mistake he then went and made a second one - he asked his sister to draw one on him.

Supergirl was only too happy to oblige and, feltpen in hand, she began drawing what he thought was a weird and "cool" design on his back and his chest. Said daughter, having stepped back and admired her handiwork, calmly walked downstairs to sit with her mum leaving terrorkid to find a mirror and check out his new look. That's when the first screams started, followed quickly by wails and floods of tears. The lad ran downstairs in a terrible state and bawled to his mum:

"Mum, mum, mum, look what she's done. She's drawn a bra on me!!"

Now that is class!! It took two baths and a lot of scrubbing by mum to get the artwork off him. Grantham shall not have her.

3 comments:

Brad said...

That young lady is a genius.

fiwa said...

Go little sister! Wish they'd taken pictures.

Gin said...

I was hoping for a picture too! That little girl will go far!

Thanks for the laugh Reg. Hope you're well!!

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".