Imagine

I could imagine Virgin Rail running an efficient and inexpensive rail service.
I could imagine the Pope coming out onto his balcony on Easter morning and telling everyone gathered in St Peter's Square to “fuck off!”
I could imagine not getting any pleasure from shooting Michael Winner in the head.
I could imagine landing on Mars next week and opening a small pottery shop.
I could imagine believing Jeffrey Archer.
I could imagine watching Katie Derham read the news without wondering once what colour her bush is.
I could imagine chatting to Nigella Lawson without staring at her tits.
I could imagine thinking footballers aren’t paid enough.
I could EVEN imagine the Queen having a shit!!

BUT………..America………going Socialist………under Bush?????????????

Trouble is, I don’t think there’s an unadulterated Clause 4 in this startling new brand of Socialism. Now, call me cynical if you like, but I’ve got a feeling that instead of the workers truly controlling the means of production – in this case, the production of absolutely NOTHING except obscene profits – I think the workers are having to make good losses brought about by the abject greed of a few so that same few can go on making obscene profits, safe in the knowledge that if they should fuck up again then the workers will pay their debts.

It’s a bit like playing Russian roulette and getting your brother to put the gun to his head and pull the trigger while you bet on the outcome with his money.

Is it really a form of Socialism? On the face of it, yes. The Government – i.e. the common people – takes control of an industry and guarantees its losses to ensure all in it remain gainfully employed and in business.

Look a little deeper, however, and it is, in fact, the zenith (or should that be nadir) of Capitalism. Capitalists – true, 100 per cent, unashamed Capitalists - produce nothing. They just gamble on man-made gaming systems and make piles of cash unimaginable to the likes of you and me. The trouble with gambling is that you can lose, as well as win. So how do these greedy pigs remove this slight insect from the balm? They persuade the Government – i.e. the common people – to back them and make good any losses they make. Sadly, the deal does not involve the common people sharing out their winnings. No, the pigs keep those!! It is the perfect form of gambling – gambling with other people’s money and keeping the winnings while offloading the losses.

It’s a belter!

Actually, I don’t think it’s going to work. I still think everything is going to go tits up and you and me will be turfed out of our homes and reduced to servitude. Will the men and women who brought all this about suffer likewise? Well, to answer that, here are two little facts for you:

1. Bradford and Bingley Bank has gone tits up and so we have had to wade in to save it. That has left every man and woman in this country having to GUARANTEE £35,000 in payouts to each of its investors should it fail again.

2. The man who brought about this monumental fuck up by greed and blithering incompetence is Richard Pym. He is the boss of the bank and he is GUARANTEED a half-yearly bonus of £375,000.