In Which Reg Just Talks To Himself - Again!

So, we’re all Socialists now, are we? Well, not exactly.

You see, there has indeed been a revolution – but it was a silent one. It sneaked in through the side door. It slithered in on its belly while our attentions were elsewhere. Who would make it through to the next round of Wannabe Chavsing Cryalot On Ice? Would the DNA test show that professional statistic Dwayne was indeed the father of teenage, mother-of-nine Michellesuit’s latest vaginal extrusion? These were the only things of importance, surely? What time was there for anything else?

To the amoral, uneducated, grasping and instant gratification-obsessed legions of Thatcher’s children the slight matter of a radical change in the way our whole economy operated was not only incomprehensible but also of absolutely no importance. Hell, if Jordan didn’t have anything to say about it in Chat Magazine then how could it be of any value to anyone?

The trouble with Jordan is that she sometimes takes her eye off the ball, politically speaking. When you dedicate your life to having your tits either blown up or deflated you can’t be expected to follow every slight socio-economic policy shift.

The revolution which sadly bypassed ole’ rubberknockers was the acceptance by government’s around the Western world that pure, unadulterated capitalism and the market system did not work! The huge lurch to the right and the ensuing idolisation of “the market” began in this country 30 years ago (under guess who?). America had always been that way inclined but Thatcher, by tapping a rich vein of greed in the middle classes, allied Britain to Wall Street and espoused GLOBAL Capitalism. Similarly blinded and greedy administrations around the world followed suit and eventually we had one, worldwide economy, heavily interlinked and heavily dependent on what happened in the home of rabid Capitalism, the USA. If anything goes wrong in the good 'ole U S of A then EVERYONE suffers.

This wunder system was not only amoral, it had obvious, fatal flaws. It involved the super-rich playing a glorified board game, initially with stocks and shares, creaming off billions for themselves in good times and making millions redundant to ensure the continuation of their massive payouts in bad times. It was a win-win game for the players. Once they realised they could get away with it, they expanded the game and took it well and truly into the realms of virtual reality. They began betting on imaginary scenarios and “won” unimaginably huge amounts of dosh on imaginary outcomes. They bet on what would happen in the future and sold their bets on to one another to cream off yet more money, well before, and invariably always, before those futures had materialised.

The game became gradually more and more complicated, with more ways of betting introduced, all of them based on imaginary scenarios. I don’t pretend to understand the complexities of market playing – I don’t think anyone does – but a classic example was the sub-prime loans game of which we are now only too well aware. Basically, you get ANYONE to sign up to a loan, completely regardless of any assets they have or of their ability to pay. When you have got thousands of these obviously bad debts you sell them on, packaged as “good loans”. You take a massive profit from the sale and you take it now – well before it becomes evident that the loans cannot be repaid. The person you sold them to, in turn, sells them on, and so on and so on. It’s basically a game of economic pass-the-parcel. All the players took their turn with the parcel and none of them thought that the music would ever stop. Well it did – it has.

Now the whole rotten system has come crashing down, as it always had to. Governments around the world were then faced with two choices. One, they could let all the greedy banks go bust. Sadly, that was the mistake made in 1929 and we are all well aware of the consequences. So, to avoid that happening again, the governments are taking the only other option open to them – to nationalise the banks and guarantee a pool of money – liquidity – to them so they can carry on loaning money.

The nationalisation of banks is a cornerstone of Socialism – and I am a big believer in it. Banks, like public utilities, SHOULD be nationalised. The problem we have now is that the Capitalists have decided to have their cake and eat it. In short, true nationalisation of banks would see taxpayers provide the banks with money to loan out and then one of two outcomes is possible:

1. If the banks incur bad debts then the taxpayers will make good the losses to keep the banks in business.

2. If the banks make profits then those profits are shared out among its backers, namely the taxpayers.

Guess which scenario will hold true under the brave new world into which we are entering? Guess which one will not apply?

Also, if you are the major investor in a bank then you would expect to have a major say in how it is run, wouldn’t you. Is that going to happen from now on? In short, no.

Will there be strong regulation of the banks? The politicians say there will be – but the politicians lie. Of course there won’t be. If there had been ANY regulation, if the Financial Services Authority had actually done what it was supposed to do, we wouldn’t be in the mess we are in now.

So, by bailing out the banks we have bowed to the inevitable. But are economists and sociologists saying that Capitalism is dead, just as they said Socialism was dead when the USSR dissolved? Nope!

By bailing out the banks we have adopted a fundamental principle of Socialism. So, are we now Socialist? Nope!

The Capitalists have got round this tricky conundrum by finally abandoning all attempts at pretence. Whereas before they ripped off everyone, playing their stupid boardgame, and told us Capitalism was not perfect but it was the only way, now that have been forced to admit it doesn’t work – but they don’t care. It is good for them and so they will carry on with it, thanks to “Socialism for Capitalists”. Fuck the rest of us. For the first time in more than a hundred years we are being screwed and those doing the screwing openly admit what they are doing. “Whatcha gunna do about it, little man?” We pay, they take.

What has happened in the last few months marks a new low in life in this country. We have at last proved Capitalism only benefits a few – but those few will continue with it because they have the power and the rest of us can go fuck.

Rule Britannia.