My tomato crop appears rather respectable, does it not?
Ok, it's blurred but, believe me, that's not down to any lack of loving kindness and green-fingered tenderness on my part. No, that fuzziness, more commonly associated with the hated gooseberry (yuk!!), has resulted from something entirely different, something which will shortly become apparent.
So, Pither is going to have a bit of a tomato Mardis Gras - or at the very least a Vendredi Gras - you are thinking? He may not be painting the town red but his plate will certainly take on that tinge for the next few weeks, eh? Well, how can I put it?...............urrm............no!!
Give me ten pence and I'll explain. Ok, you tight fisted type, I'll provide the ten pence and IT will explain.
See? Not everything is as it first appears. Now you know where the fuzz comes from. Not being equipped with an electron microscope, it comes from having to hold a camera about an inch away from the subject in order to get it to at least fill half of the frame.
My tomatoes are actually the size of the average male gerbil's testicles - and there's worse news to come. These two rodentally genital-sized babies are THE ONLY tomatoes to spring from my plants this year.
My horticultural results this year can, at best, be described as "disappointing".
There are other descriptions which spring to mind but I've decided not to swear tonight. Still, ever the optimist (ha, ha, ha, ha!) I am determined to make use of my crop and so I am inviting suggestions for an appetising meal in which Brian and Frank (as I have named the boys) star as the principal ingredients.
While you've got your thinking cap on, maybe you could come up with a delicious pudding incorporating my crop of strawberries this year?
Good luck!! In the meantime, I think my market gardening skills should be shared with the good people of Grantham - hope they're not hungry.
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6 comments:
Oh my. ccccc.
No, no, there is simply no other solution. The kebab stand is the best option.
About the meal, well, how hungry are you? And, do you by any chance intend to invite anyone over?
Well you could cook the plant along with the tomatoes.
ak, i just took the last of mine off the vines yesterday, and they're ALL blighted. crappy global warming. i blame France. it doesn't have to make sense. i just do.
honey, make a bloody mary for me and you and use the baby tomaters for a delightful miniature garnish in each one. cheers up, y'all.
Fish,
You're right, of course. Pither's Laughing Kebabs do seem to get closer every day.
Like the meal idea - that's what I call a bloody salad. Would have to selective about the dinner guests, though. Two very large rabbits or Paul McCartney, I suppose?
First Nations,
I'm with you - blame the French. Why? Because they're there!!!
You win the prize for the best serving suggestion - a couple of tomatoes are in the post to you.
Yes, I did hear Paul does nothing else but vegetate lately.
Ha ha ha, your gardening efforts, ha ha ha!!!!
Love Big Ears
xx
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