Central heating has made things so much easier.............but you still have to leave that beautiful, warm, cosy bed to delouse yourself and treat yourself to a dawn rectal scrape in the bathroom. Then you have to pull on the comedy rubber badger's costume you need for work. Then you have to take that massive step and open the front door, scrape the ice from the windscreen of the car and dive inside, awaiting the heater to kick in.
Yes, leaving the warmth of your home to face the rigours of the British winter is indeed a shock to the system. It is certainly not helped when you are about to leave the bedroom for the descent into the big freeze, you look back at that gorgeous bed you never wanted to leave......................and you see this.......................
"Explain again what a mortgage is - only later. I'm really tired."
"Yes, bye dear! Turn the light off again would you?"
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Shaggy Blog Stories
6 comments:
From where can one obtain these comedy rubber badger costumes of which you speak, please?
Gordie,
I got mine from a "special" shop in town which also sells a wide variety of German and Danish art magazines. Here's a tip for you.......it's worth paying the extra £12.65p to get the deluxe outfit because it has a non-perishable gusset and detachable sexual organs.
Oh quit moaning and bring home the bacon.
!
Will knit you a willy warmer if you like, yours Edna (mrs)
now I was going to ask if you were a dog would that mean you could lick your own. . .
but then I thought it wasn't very ladylike
so I restrained myself
and now I am entertaining amusing thoughts of the two of you in rubber comedy badgers outfits with detachable sexual organs
there are shops that only sell detachable sexual organs, I have heard
but I never investigated that any further
obviously - blogging is my substitute
*goes off humming Gloria Gaynor*
Be careful not to wear them in the countryside, you'll either be gassed if your lucky or set upon by fat sweaty men with shovels and nasty sharp little dogs, have your limbs broken and then be ripped apart for sport. Actually come to think of it I know one or two people that would pay for that.
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