Oy Vay. First You Say Sink It, Now You Want Build It. Make Up Your Minds.

Oh lord. Where to start? I have been healed and there is so much to say.
Well, there I was, dozing happily in the armchair, the central heating snuggling me nicely, the television gently chuntering away in the background. Peace.............. Then it happened.
"BUILD THE BISMARK!!", the TV screamed. I was jolted awake, completely startled, but I didn't panic. I hastily donned my slippers and made for the garage as quickly as I could. Once there, I grabbed my faithful old tool box, a saw from the wall and two pieces of plywood leaning up against the wall. I was up to the task.
Then my brain started to gain ground on my body and I began to come round from my near sleep-walk. What the Hell was I doing? Why, in God's name, had I suddenly felt obliged to build the infamous Nazi pocket battleship? I trudged, bemused, back to the telly from where I had received my orders.
It was another one of those ludicrous adverts plugging a mindless magazine like the one with which you could amass your own pile of rubble. This publication offered you the chance to build your own model Bismark by including parts in each issue. The advertisers trumpeted that the first issue was 50p but they were then forced to detail on screen that to complete the model you would have to buy 139 other issues at £4.99-a-time! By my calculations, that means that this tribute to death and destruction which was the pride of the Nazi regime - so you would no doubt love to have it sitting on your coffee table - would set you back £694.11p! Hell's teeth!! You could almost raise the original bloody ship for that much!!!
Sorry boys. Extortionate models of the Fatherland's most feared fighting machines can just sail off to Grantham.