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Sunday 2 September 2007

The Search For Cinderella - Take 75.

I am in love yet again........and yet again I fear it is a love which is doomed from the start.
Like that lovely lass from the remake of The Mummy (who not only didn't write or phone, she got an injunction when I stood outside her house naked for a month!), the latest object of my affection is a screen goddess. This time, however, she is a small screen goddess.
She is the lass with the stunning smile in that nauseating bloody advert for the new Kia Cee'd car - you know, the one where some oily young bloke picks her up from home, supposedly on a first date, and by the time he's driven her back to his gaff he's proposed, said they need a dog and made it clear he wants to get her babbied up?
Surprisingly, she just smiles and says "ok" to what I consider to be some rather forward questions , particularly when you've only just met someone. Her rash reply, however, could indicate two character traits which I not only find attractive but which could work in my favour, namely that she's either brain dead or morally casual or both.
I can't find a photo of her anywhere but if anyone knows who she is or has her phone number I would appreciate it if the would they let me know.

7 comments:

FirstNations said...

stick with the girl from 'The Mummy'. she can read ancient egyptian. if you ever run afoul of ancient egyptians (this happens all the time to me) a working knowlege of heiroglyphics would no doubt come in handy.

Anonymous said...

Check your email.

BGT

I, Like The View said...

brain dead and/or morally casual. . .

actually, there's nothing wrong with being morally casual, but brain dead?

you're obviously not - you can remember the name of the car; I couldn't have told you that (altho I know perfectly well which advert you are talking about)

(what about that stupid one with the couple coming out of the hotel and having an argument, and the minute they get in the car they relax and start smiling)(when does that ever happen in real life?)(couldn't for the life of me tell you what the car is, again)(maybe I'm the one who is brain dead!)(would be a step up, actually, to have had one)(why aren't there any car adverts with single peopl? why the focus on nauseating couples?)(why, Mr Pither, why?)

Barry Lawrence said...

Dear ILTV,

I've "done" the intelligent women thang all my life - the trouble with the clever ones is they soon work out you're a no-mark loser and bugger off. I'm opting from now on for a woman who thinks the London Underground is a political movement. She'll even be impressed by my collection of wine bottle corks and "great pants of the '70s".
As to the nausea which is advertising, yes, the twee couples syndrome is prevalent.I think the logic is that only double income households could afford the sodding things. New cars also appeal to couples because they give them the chance to peer over their hedges and sneer at their neighbours.

I, Like The View said...

hedges!

wow - you're posh

(give me a shubbery any day)(NI!)

Barry Lawrence said...

Well, I say "hedge" but it is just a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it is a hedge to me.

I, Like The View said...

what does "no-mark" mean? I have never heard that expression before and you've used it twice in as many days

*smiles expectantly*

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".