I have decided that I am a Weeble - well, at least today I am.
Remember Weebles? Yes? Well, in that case, you'll remember the slogan?
"Weebles wobble............but they don't fall down!"
It is true to say that I wobbled quite a lot yesterday - Black Tuesday as it shall henceforth be known. Being told "Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish" (or whatever it was those wankers at work told me) didn't do my self-confidence and sense of self-worth a lot of good. Then, falling victim to torrential rain and the aftermath of "a police incident" in Big City centre on the way home didn't help - it took me two hours and 40 minutes to reach sanctuary in Pither Towers when it normally takes just 90 minutes.
I collapsed into bed soon after getting in - exhausted, angry, sad, worried, dejected and a couple of other alternative dwarfs as well.
Then, guess what? I awoke at 5.30 this morning, it had stopped raining, I was alive and the sun actually rose soon afterwards. Hurrah! I walked out into the garden stark bollock naked, held my arms aloft, looked up to the heavens and shouted - a la Papillon - "I'm still here, damn you! I'm still here!!
I am still knackered, so much so that I have all but lost my voice. I look like Worzel Gummage afer he's been knocked down by a truck. My whole body aches - even my hair
aches (well, numbers 4 and 6 do, anyway)...................BUT I'M STILL FUCKING HERE!!!
I was working from home today so started at 7.30am (my contract doesn't actually end until October 31). I e-mailed a load of completed stuff across before 9am to make sure "they" had to work from the get-go. I then sent loads of other stuff over during the course of the day - just to let "them" know "I'm a professional and I'm still here, assholes!" I applied for a few jobs. I played with my dogs. I rang
around my contacts to see what work was available. I then cracked a bottle of wine and toasted myself!!
I am a Weeble and I can't be knocked down. Me and my fellow wobblies shall not go to Grantham.
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Shaggy Blog Stories
16 comments:
Sorry about the job, funny you got the boot after the removal of the cast, anti disablemented bastards. The police incident, has nothing to do with you standing naked in the garden,does it? ie don't look theres nothing to see.
See you for a beer at Le weekend.
The Farmer ( I will now sign all notes, to prevent any misunderstandings)
Instead of standing there admiring your foreskin you could have lunched with someone who long ago said farewell to his. You would also have had the company of two living legends,one a journalist and one a solicitor. Your presence was missed.
All Hail the Pithers. Let's have a race - who can get employed first? I'm applying to Tescos - you? HAHAHA!
I have Weeble envy
I never had a Weeble, however I have had my fare share of wobbles and do you know what, Mr P (well, you do, but being a boring old fart I'll say it anyhow) even if you did take a tumble, you'd get back on your feet again. . .
dodgy leg or no, stark bollock naked (what is the female equivalent of that?)(actually, maybe let's not go there) or no
. . .life's a bitch (what is the male equivalent of that?) and as sure as eggs is eggs unless you did something really really silly the night before, you will always wake up in the morning
it's g*d's last laugh, methinks
it's just that sometimes you end up easy over, and other times you end up scambled
at least you have some fab rugby to look forward to this weekend!
*smiles cheerfully and expects to be covered in yolk very shortly*
That's the spirit matey, although the image of you stark bollock naked in your garden is going to take some shaking. Welcome to the ranks of the stupidly stubborn.
The Farmer,
Funny, but the birds haven't sung since I went out in the garden in the buff. I think they're still in therapy.
See you at the weekend for a dry sherry and another in depth discussion about the Post Office dispute.
Hello Oy Vay,
Yes, sorry about that. I had to get all this work shit out of the way so I couldn't afford to go on the lash.
Hope the boy was on form. Sorry to hear about your foreskin. What on earth happened? You always told me you weren't a Jew.....just Jewish.
FH,
So, you're young, attractive, intelligent and full of jest for life? I, on the other hand, am....am.....am not. You'll make the checkouts while I'll be lucky to make part-time shelf-stacker.
Dear ILTV,
You are, of course and as ever, right. What doesn't brake you makes you....makes you....makes you really pissed off that it happened in the first place!
Sorry about the Weeble vacuum in your little days. I never had a Gonk until I was 10! I only ever had my brother's cast-off Slinky (when he got a new gold one, instead of the boring old silver one) and I was only allowed to use his Etch-a-Sketch on alternate Thursdays, from 3-4am. I share your pain.
Malc,
You never complained about my naked body when we slept together - under the desk at work!
Oh Pither. Ashes...phoenix....flames etc.
Being nude in the garden is very D.H., don't ya think?
Keep weebling m'dear.
I don't remember Weebles, but then I often don't remember what I did yesterday. Glad that your back out there fighting. Looking forward to saturday?
...well, that's more information than i needed. thanks.
my dear, there is a veritable plague of this going round the UK. about half my UK blogroll are being 'downsized' in the next few months. wtf???
irregardless...you WILL rise again.
no that's not what i meant. well yes, that too, but i meant 'you' in the larger sense
...hm. Ok. What I meant was, yo
..nah, screw it.
Put on some clothes and go find a job.
I never ever had a gonk
:-0
cheers, now I have gonk envy as well as weeble envy. . .
:-(
oh, and I have slinky envy (the first time I ever had a slinky was when I bought a mini one to go in a stocking for a Small Person one xmas)
:,-(
neither did I EVER have an Etch-A-Sketch (altho I did once buy a mini one etc etc)
%-(
I did however, she says proudly, polishing her nails on her chest and puffing on them, have a gyroscope all of my own; my parents saved up enough Kellog's cereal box tops when I was about six to get three - one each for myself and my two brothers. . .
:-D
ta-da!!
;-)
(and don't mention Blue Peter, my mother disapproved of sticky back plastic, so I was never able to make anything they made on Blue Peter)
Arabella,
God, I loathe D H!!!, even though he was from the city of my birth. Mind you, that place also produced Sue Pollard! What with Pither, not really a lot to boast about.
BW,
SERIOUSLY looking forward to Saturday. Let's just hope the boys show a touch of Weeble spirit as well.
FN,
I am indeed in search of a job....but I'm damned if I'm putting my clothes back on! Hurrah!
ILTV,
Poor you. You didn't grow up in Albania, did you? A child without a gonk is like a.....a.....well, a gonkless child.
Now that you're older, may your toybox never empty.
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