Home Loving Dogs.

Yes, You Know Who You Are!

I took my dogs for their customary walk today. There are four of them. It is a bit of a struggle doing this alone - like being in charge of a dog sledge only without the opportunity to hop on the back of the sledge when the pulling outpaces the man supposedly at the reins.
We walked from my house to the village green and spent an hour running madly (well, they did) off the lead, 75 per cent of them defacating at every available opportunity and then looking back in wry amusement as dad had to scoop up the evacuations in bags. We then trekked back to Pither Towers and crowded into the kitchen for the usual post-walkies de-brief, dog treats and gallons of water.
Tilly, the smallest and most obstinate of the crew, disappeared during the big handout. It was unlike her to spurn some meaty chewchunks so I went looking for her. Phew! Found her! In my bedroom - where she had emptied the contents of her bowels on the carpet!! Not such much as a fart while walking on the Green. The little mare had been saving it up until she got back. "Thank God for that", she must have been thinking, "I thought we'd never get home. I was dying for a crap."
I hereby order that all of Grantham's dogs shall never again foul in the great outdoors but shall, instead, show their lavatorial love for their owners by dumping indoors.