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Friday 2 November 2007

The Ditch Blair Project


I'm going to make a prediction. In about 50 years you won't find anyone around with the surname Blair.
It's not that I foresee a cull of all people with that name, you understand. That would be too much to hope for (Ok, you might lose thousands of innocents but you would get the two bastards you were after in the first place). No, I just think that there will be a lot of people availing themselves of the services of register offices or wherever it is you go to get your name changed these days.
Why? Well, by way of evidence, let me ask you when was the last time you bumped into someone called Hitler? Ok, ok, ok. There are doubtless some out there, notably German readers, who can claim to have turned out to hear a speech by a Mr A Hitler of 27a The Bunker, Berlin, prior to 1945. What I mean is, how many people have you come across recently called, let's say, Barry or Trevor Hitler? Not bleedin' many, that's what I think. It's like a few other names I could mention. Be honest, did you go to school with anyone called Kevin Crippen for instance? Was or is there a guy working at your local garage called Adrian Stalin? How about Dennis Mussolini? Is he your local Man from the Pru? Is your next door neighbour called Stewart Frankenstein or Brian The Ripper? Are you served in Tesco's by Edna de Sade? I doubt it. It's like the Christian names Adolph, Myra, Vlad and Lucretia. They're just not as popular as they used to be........and I think there's a reason for that.
Which brings me to Britain in the 21st Century and what I think could be the beginning of the end for the surname Blair. You see, we have not one lunatic called Blair - but two!!! That surely has to be some sort of record. I have posted enough about the grinning, right-wing Tory twat who is Anthony Whichway Blair - the man who, more than any other, has mastered the art of faking sincerity - so I shall not waste any more bile on him here.
Let's just leave him for now to sort out all the problems in the Middle East (which problems? Oh! Those problems!! Like Iraq, you mean? Yeah. Hang on a bit....). No, today's lesson concerns the marvellously shite Sir Ian Blair, The Grand Wizard of the equally marvellously shite Metropolitan Police.

At the very, very, very least, this Blair is head of an organisation which has been heavily fined for putting the lives of the public at risk during the botched operation which saw innocent Jean Charles de Menezes brutally killed. Bosses of other firms which have been stung by the courts for far less serious breaches of Health and Safety legislation have walked. Not this arsehole.
Not content with fucking pleading not guilty - AGAINST the advice of senior Met bods - Blair/The Met's case sought to lay part of the blame for the shooting on Jean Charles himself!!!! Well, I mean, he was asking for it, wasn't he? Fancy leaving your flat and getting on a bus. If that doesn't smack of illegality I don't know what does. As for getting off the bus but then getting back on it because the Tube station at which you had alighted was closed, that's just the act of a madman. Then to just sit there and do nothing in a Tube carriage - well, he was a fool to himself.
The facts as revealed in court did not really support Sir Ian's challenging view, however. Notably, the jury heard that a) The fucking dimwit copper who was supposed to be monitoring the suspect flat was straining the greens at the time Jean Charles left and so could not positively identify him, b) The fucking coppers on the ground claimed in court, to a man, that they had NOT subsequently positively identified Jean Charles as the wanted terrorist to their boss in the ops room - the boss whom the court heard had a contemporaneous note of a shedload of them doing just that. That means SOMEONE is lying. No, not mistaken, BLOODY LYING! c) They could have "arrested" (well, it's a sort of arrest) Jean Charles at several places less populated than Stockewell Tube station, d) The armed response team turned up later than the Americans for World War II and e) They allowed a person they thought was a bomber to board a packed Tube train, f) They raced into the carriage and pumped seven bullets into his head - sod who was near him - when the officers involved claimed none of them had identified him as the wanted man. God forbid I should ever defend the man, but when Kenneth Noye stabbed a copper to death whom he found creeping around the undergrowth of his mansion in the middle of the night dressed from head to foot in black, with a black balaclava on and absolutely no gear to indicate he was the fuzz, did the CPS say no charges would be brought? Did it buggery. "Sod Health and Safety legislation, it's up to Big House for you, matey." It happened that Noye was later cleared of murder but was eventually potted for same following a slight motoring fracas down south and he is now where he belongs - but surely the law is the law? "Oh, but Reg, the police will now be scared to pull the trigger when confronted by a bomber and we will all be blown up as a result." Bollocks!! There is a world of difference between a copper coming face to face with a suspected terrorist and having a split second to decide whether to shoot or shit out and a fucking operation which was planned over God knows how many weeks, involved constant surveillance and offered a shedload of officers a shedload of opportunities to "deal with" a man about whom they just happened to believe there was a possibility that he might look quite like someone they thought could, per chance, be a terrorist!! Go and shoot a police officer you suspect of being naughty by accident today and see if they let you keep your testicles/labia, let alone your job.
Following the Met's case, Blair then had the fucking audacity to come out of court not with his head bowed low to issue a grovelling apology but to say that there was absolutely no evidence of a fuck-up culture at The Met and so he would not resign. The fucking arrogance of the man!!
I've got news for you, fuckface. It's the poor, bloody taxpayers out there who pay your fucking wages and as far as I'm concerned you should not only be on yer bike but you should be facing a criminal negligence charge as well!!....and we'll have your soddin' pension back off you while we're about it!!
Fuck off!!!....either to Grantham or, failing that, why not go out to join your equally culpable namesake in the Middle East? Might I suggest you just spend your days walking round the West Bank with a T-shirt saying "I love Zionism" so you can, for the first time in truth, say you sympathise with Jean Charles and his family.

9 comments:

Vicus Scurra said...

I thought that your twins were called Margaret and Dennis.

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

I'm listening to Radio 5's phone-in and some (many) lunkheads are calling to suggest that as he was somehow here illegally he probably got what was coming to him and that these things happen! There's a war on!

Fuck me! There are times when I feel like strapping on the explosives myself.

Anonymous said...

Fair comment, I'd say, Reg. But don't forget to save just a bit of bile to vent on the moronic, sexually repressed wankers (and I'm sure in this case the term is entirely accurate) who were fanatical enough to believe that the best way to get shagged is by blowing yourself to kingdom come and taking as many unbelieving infidels as possible with you on the way. Their spectacularly lunatic contribution to our national culture on 7/7/05 created the climate that made this tragically inept performance by the Met's blithering incompetents almost inevitable.

BGT

I, Like The View said...

well said

The Birdwatcher said...

Its not the first time that the Met have made a mistake though. In 1983 they shot Stephen Waldorf by mistake because his girlfriend looked like the girlfriend of David Martin the man they were after. (Possession of an offensive girlfriend. Its a fair cop)

Then there was Blair Peach.

Malcolm Cinnamond said...

The SPG? Ah! Happy days.

We never got to find out "Who Killed Blair Peach?" did we, but we all had a shrewd idea.

Of course we should have no truck with the mindless nerks who strap explosives to themselves to spread death and destruction and much less with the evil bastards who manipulate them and exploit their stupidity. But if the police can't behave responsibly in a crisis and protect the public (eg by not blasting seven rounds into an innocent man's head in the middle of one of the world's busiest public transport systems) then the game's up, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Agree with every single word you said about the Menezes/Ian Blair case, but one thing about this blog really bothers me.

You say there are only two lunatics in 21st Century Britain with the Blair surname. But what about bloody Lionel? Eh? Eh? He's a nutter in my book!

Love
Big Ears

Anonymous said...

ANd what about the idiot who married one of them and became infected with exactly the same madness as the blood-blair himself??

But, o Pithers, how I disagree with you on all this. Ok, so we know now that this DE Menezes wasn't a suicide bomber, but lets face it we ALL need to have a slash every now and then EVEN when we're on a stake-out, and it must have been bloody hard for the guys on the ground to make a decision given the garbled confusion they were being fed by their superiors so I sympathize with them having to go through all this cobblers in court. So yes, there was an element of doubt as to a) the guy's identity and therefore b) whether or not he was a suspected terrorist, but with suicide bombers I think even the slightest element of doubt is enough to put a spanner in the works. Imagine someone puts their hands behind their back and says to you "Am I or am I not holding a detonator? If you get it wrong, I blow myself and everyone around me sky high". Well, fuck, I'd feel pretty screwed. If they had just tried to arrest him and he'd blown himself up you'd be telling a completely different tale of police endangering the public. I think they had a difficult decision to make, but they made one, which is all I ask of a person.

Well, that was a typical limp-wristed counter-argument in a similar vein to "the police will now be scared to pull the trigger when confronted by a bomber and we will all be blown up as a result", and having just read it through I'm not even entirely sure that it makes much sense. But I'm sorry, I think it's true. Suicide bombers are the shits. We the public are stuck between a rock and a hard place on this one. Deal with it.

I, Like The View said...

amazing

I titled my piece today "between a rock and a hard place"*

must be catching

good thing there aren't blog police with guns and ammo abounding, otherwise I'd be dead by association because someone was out having a slash at the wrong time and someone else didn't know where a whole bunch of other people were and one mistake just led to another. . .

it'd be a fair cop tho, eh guv?


* yes, I am also guilty of not having visited your fair patch of cyber space for a day or so - another reason to shoot me**

** that's not an invitation BTW

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".