So there I am, cooking dinner in the kitchen, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither offering support by sitting at the breakfast table and quaffing a bottle of white wine, when bloody Bill bleedin' Oddie comes on the mini-Devil's Lantern above the fridge to introduce Autumn Watch or some such televisual fodder.
"Tonight, we're having a beaver watch," he said excitedly.
The pornosensor in my brain began sounding loud and clear - DING, DING, DING! SMUT-ON-THE-BOX, SMUT-ON-THE-BOX!!! Pither immediately downed culinary tools, pulled up a chair and joined VSTB EW in Wine Corner. "This is what I pay my bloody licence fee for," I said, as Mr P tutted into her glass.
What happened?. Bloody nothing, that's what happened!! A bloody hour of footage of some bloke down a cave looking at bats, two stags having a scrap and some fat rats with ping-pong bat tails farting around in the water!!!
I wanna complain. Whatever happened to Points of View?
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To Make You Laugh and Cry
I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons.
On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"
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| Body: |  2.7 |
| Spirit: |  8 |
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| Finance: |  5.9 |
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Shaggy Blog Stories
9 comments:
what did happen to points of view. . .
that wasn't the point, was it
I must confess to smirking to myself when I read the listings. But then I forgot to watch it and missed the fragrant Kate Humble. Oddy is an idiot, though harmless, Humble gets my juices going though beevers or no beevers. Off for a lie down now.
You hang out with your almost ex wife and watch beaver tv!? How forward thinking.
ILTV,
Nope, you've got it. That wasn't the point.
BW,
She is rather scrumptious, isn't she?
Dyna,
I am big into nostalgia!
It's not forward thinking, by the way - it's hippyish (as is my very-soon-to-be ex-wife). Trouble is, when you're not the one who calls time on things, you can't afford to buy your other half out and you love your house and where you live, what ya gonna do?
Saving my pennies for a move to the Highlands! Just biding my time. Why am I explaining myself to you? Perhaps I'm explaining it to myself.
I think Wogan is on Points of View, but I never watch it. By the time that old talentless gasbag has finished waffling, there's no time for reader's letters.
I want to go on record as never having heard of Kate Humble. Won't stop 27 million perverts googling her and finding there crusty way to my fucking blog though, will it?
I trust that you did not miss Humphrey on the radio this evening in order to pre-occupy yourself with Mr Oddy.
Vicus,
I was cooking! I couldn't listen to the God Humphreys as well. It's all right for you. You open your tin of butterbean squash or defrost another cwt of lentils or just go out into the garden and start grazing but I have to create in the kitchen.
Cooking with bits of dead animals takes so much more time.
Well, I see. You must be an extremely good-natured man. Too bad beaver tv didn't di any rekindling!
I thought that my comment was a goodie, in the circumstances
;-)
You had to dredge up Barry Took, didn't you?
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