According To Our Records..........

It's an old and familiar refrain over here in Pitherworld but......the banks are out of control!!!!
I'm going to keep on saying this until someone - preferably someone with heavy artillery - starts to listen and decides to do something about it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting for one minute that we should take it upon ourselves to burst into our local branch of Lloyds, Barclays, Nat West or whatever, shoot all the staff and then crucify the manager on the outside of the building beneath a large sign saying "greedy, incompetent, capitalist bastard!". No, I think the Army should be doing that!
I just think we have to start fighting back in more subtle ways, such as by writing to our banks each time their cashpoint machines are empty, thereby not allowing us to get access to OUR money - and then charging the banks £30 for each letter (where the Hell do banks buy their stationery??!!?), with daily £10 penalty fees for each day which passes with the cashpoints still being out of service.
The absolute inability of all of the banks to do anything efficiently or with any regard at all for its customers has been covered on this blog before and is currently being illustrated beautifully by the lovely Ziggi.
The other unacceptable face of banking came under the spotlight today when one of the cartel - Barclays - announced that it had LOST £1.3 BILLION on the sub-prime housing market in the USA. "Never fear", Barclays reassured those parasitic, chinless twats in The City, "We have made £1.9 billion in profits already so far this year!" Fucking Hell!!!!
First of all, exactly WHOSE money have they lost? Not bleedin's theirs, that's for sure. They don't, in theory, have any money of their own. They exist by borrowing some from Peter at 5 per cent and by then lending it to Paul at 12 per cent. They make money from everyone else's money. It's called capitalism. In the wild, its called parasitism.
Secondly, I wonder what would happen if I wrote to them tomorrow and said: "Look, you remember that £300 I borrowed off you? Well, truth is, I've gone and lost it. Soz about that. Never mind, eh?" Do you think they would shrug their corporate shoulders and say: "Hell, knock yourself out. Have a ball. Easy come, easy go." Je ne pense pas!!! They'd be round with the fuzz faster than you could say "debtors prison"!
Finally, these gits have the arrogance to actually admit that they rip us poor saps off so much on a daily basis that they can afford to lob away £1.3 thousand million and still be almost £2 thousand million in profit!!
"Rip us off, Reg?" I hear you ask. "Surely not?" Well, take Pither's hapless contribution to these obscene profits, for example. A few days ago I got a letter from Lloyds telling me that I was £30 over my overdraft limit. I promptly went online, did some financial juggling, and transferred £35 into the account. A few days later I got another letter saying that I was £35 over my overdraft limit. When I rang to query this and point out that I had paid money in to cover the excess I was told......wait for this......that yes, they had received my £35. However, I had been charged a £10 penalty fee for going over my limit without permission, which put me over my limit again, and there was also a £30 charge for the original letter.
This time I paid in £40 but, low and behold, a few days later I received yet another letter which said I was over my limit again. The explanation this time was that there had been a £30 charge for the second letter and as that again put my over my limit there was another £10 penalty fee!!
This would have gone on until Hell froze over had I not ranted at them and pointed out that it was their bloody letters which were causing the problem and if they just switched their sodding computer off for half an hour the problem would be rectified!!
I have previously sent Lloyds TSB to Grantham but I think it is time for them to be joined by their incompetent, money-grabbing, greedy High Street cousins.