Fir-kin 'Ell!! Nigela's Got Bent!

The Wind In The Willows - and The Force 10 In The Fir Tree.

Remember the Pither motto? "You're Never Ahead For Long"? Well, it's proved true again.
In my post about biorhythms and the ups and downs of life, I predicted that a shitty day was on the cards because I had gone and had the audacity to have a good one. Well, right on cue, the excrement has arrived!
My neighbour came round today to gently advise me that a touch of tree surgery might just be required in my garden to avoid a possible accident. His actual words were: "Yow're fuckin' tree's bent over like Michael Barrymore on a Sat'day night. Gerrit fixed cos if it comes down on me fuckin' pigeon loft yom forrit!"
I waved him a cheery goodbye, thanked him for the kindly advice and went to inspect my Chamaecyparis Lawsoniana 'Allumii'. Oops! He had a slight point. The fir - Nigella, I call her (she's a blue Lawson - get it?) - was indeed, like Pither, leaning more than a little to the left. What to do? It's going to take two big lads and a wheelbarrow, I fear.
Ho hum. Another problem to sort. Any suggestions, short of hacking down Nigella, would be appreciated. In the meantime, storm damage can go to Grantham.