**********************************************************WHY GRANTHAM? JUST CLICK: TEXT **********************************************************
Thursday, 8 March 2007
They Call Me the Wanderer.
I have applied for several jobs to keep the wolf of bankruptcy away from this supposedly freelance journalist's door but, however much needs dictate, I have to say my heart is not in it. The reason, primarily, is because all the jobs involve working in "an office".
I am no good at "offices". I have spent too much of my working life in them. You see, I can't sit still for long. I want to be out and about. I love to wander.
On one paper I worked on for many years, the most frequently heard announcement on the public address system was, apparently, "Will Mr Reg Pither please return to his own department?"
It all stems from school, I think. I always used to "baggsy" a seat by the window, whatever classroom we were in, so that I could stare out of it. I took window staring to new heights. It's just a pity they didn't do A-Levels in it. It meant I could look at what was REALLY going on in the world, or outside the classroom, at the very least.
I carried this expertise on into adulthood and the first offices I ever worked in. Then came journalism but they had a cure for people like me - windowless offices!!! You were trapped in some kind of spaceship. It could have been blowing a hurricane outside, there could be Red Army soldiers scaling the walls, aliens could have been landing in the street - you just wouldn't know. You had to just concentrate on the really important stuff, like making sure the local populace knew that there was to be a brownies campfire and pig roast event at one of the schools that weekend!
The lack of windows forced me into my wandering habits. Sitting in the same chair staring at the same screen surrounded by the same people all day was just not for me. I liked to travel. I met strange and interesting people in different departments and we talked about ANYTHING other than work. I got to see totally different pot plants and screen stickers to the ones I was used to. Hell, you got to slag off people you didn't even know existed!
Now, it seems, having finally broken out of all those offices and left the dreary days behind me, I am going to have to go back. It is not something I relish.
Whatever happens, offices can be the sole preserve of the Grantham workforce.
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WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007
SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1.
From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).
Monday, 12 November 2007
Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.
....And On the Subject of Great Public Services
I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.
...There's More
On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!
Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!
Oh...........my............God!!!!!
My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!
Tuesday, 18 September 2007.
I wish I'd sung this!
For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can.
(P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.)
P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.
To Make You Laugh and Cry
I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons.
On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"
This Is My Life, Rated | |
Life: | 4.2 |
Mind: | 4.1 |
Body: | 2.7 |
Spirit: | 8 |
Friends/Family: | 1.6 |
Love: | 0 |
Finance: | 5.9 |
Take the Rate My Life Quiz |
I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things
Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck
It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact.
To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:
Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........
In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today.
The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared.
Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.
Life On The Edge - No Net.
I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal?
Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having!
Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting!
Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.
The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?
Be honest........
Who fucking cares!!
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