I have applied for several jobs to keep the wolf of bankruptcy away from this supposedly freelance journalist's door but, however much needs dictate, I have to say my heart is not in it. The reason, primarily, is because all the jobs involve working in "an office".
I am no good at "offices". I have spent too much of my working life in them. You see, I can't sit still for long. I want to be out and about. I love to wander.
On one paper I worked on for many years, the most frequently heard announcement on the public address system was, apparently, "Will Mr Reg Pither please return to his own department?"
It all stems from school, I think. I always used to "baggsy" a seat by the window, whatever classroom we were in, so that I could stare out of it. I took window staring to new heights. It's just a pity they didn't do A-Levels in it. It meant I could look at what was REALLY going on in the world, or outside the classroom, at the very least.
I carried this expertise on into adulthood and the first offices I ever worked in. Then came journalism but they had a cure for people like me - windowless offices!!! You were trapped in some kind of spaceship. It could have been blowing a hurricane outside, there could be Red Army soldiers scaling the walls, aliens could have been landing in the street - you just wouldn't know. You had to just concentrate on the really important stuff, like making sure the local populace knew that there was to be a brownies campfire and pig roast event at one of the schools that weekend!
The lack of windows forced me into my wandering habits. Sitting in the same chair staring at the same screen surrounded by the same people all day was just not for me. I liked to travel. I met strange and interesting people in different departments and we talked about ANYTHING other than work. I got to see totally different pot plants and screen stickers to the ones I was used to. Hell, you got to slag off people you didn't even know existed!
Now, it seems, having finally broken out of all those offices and left the dreary days behind me, I am going to have to go back. It is not something I relish.
Whatever happens, offices can be the sole preserve of the Grantham workforce.
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