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Tuesday 1 May 2007

I Get So Angry Sometimes

I wasn't going to post, I know. I was going to be too tired, I know (and I almost am)..........but the whole Iraq thang (sic) gets me so angry on so many different fucking levels.
Tonight I have witnessed, on the late news, people giving their verdict on Tony Blair's 10 years in office. I have already voiced mine so there is no need to once again stress the point here that I think he is, and always will be, an abject twat. One woman, however, was the mum of a British solider who had died in Iraq and, while I obviously sympathise with the loss of her loved one, her expressions of disgust at TB make me want to hacksaw my own foot off!!
Did she voice outrage at Blair's hijacking of a once proud party which stood for the common man and woman? No! Her anger was that he had sent her son to die in Iraq!! Well, excuse me, but he joined the fucking Army, didn't he? What the fuck did she think he would be doing with his time? Repairing leaky pipes in Staines? Answering Lloyds TSB banking queries in Madras? Wallpapering in Maidstone? Going to war kinda comes with the fucking territory, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it was an illegal war but aren't nearly all of them, post-Hitler? "Oh, I waved him off at Portsmouth with his gun, hand grenades, bazooka, knives and pistol, hoping that he would kill loads of Johnny Arabs for me, and he ended up getting potted. It is an outrage."
Here's an idea. If you don't want to die in needless, illegal wars, DON'T JOIN THE FUCKING ARMY!!!!
Then we get onto the stupid fucking "should Prince Harry go to Iraq" discussion. Well, half of me says: "'Scuse me, Colonel Blimp, he's in the fucking Army. What else is he supposed to do? How many other of the fuckers over there can honestly say they are fighting for the Queen? He's going to kick ass on behalf of his own fucking gran!!!!"
Then the other half of me says: "Ok, I have been conscripted and I'm in it now. Do I really want to be sat alongside some jug-eared, brain-dead, patentlyu illigitimate, ginger cunt who's in line to the British throne? I think they might just aim a few in our direction and, being Pither, the chances are that Harry would walk away laughing and I would end up with a fully ventilated head!"
I don't think the argument should be "Do we send Harry to Iraq?" I think we should be saying: "Why not send him, his brother, his dad, his granny and the whole fucking lot of them to Iraq?"
Sorry, I have nothing against the Royal Family as individuals, as long as I don't have to pay for them and as long as we don't cling on to some Stewart ideal of the divine rule of kings. Having said that, they can all fuck off to Grantham - via Iraq!
I am, finally, going to bed now.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

And to think my old man went to war for cunt's like you !!

Johnny in Chingford

Barry Lawrence said...

No. 1. Read the "post-Hitler" bit, you ignorant cunt. My old man was in THE fucking war (for the Allies).
No. 2. Which side was your old man on? Does he still manage to go to the reunions in Munich?
No. 3. Chingford!!!! Does anybody really ever admit to that after the political abortion you lot spawned? He's a fucking tortoise-headed Nazi!!
No. 4. If you are Billy I shall be really, really, REALLY ANNOYED!

Anonymous said...

Not me, guv. There's no way on Earth I'd pretend to come from Chingford, even in jest. Even Widnes would be preferable to that.

Anyway, I'm with you, in fact, on this one. I don't know which is more incomprehensible - the fact of us being in Iraq at all, or the apparent surprise expressed in some quarters that some lads are being killed there.

What's that about supping with the Devil requiring a long spoon?

BGT

Anonymous said...

And I also know that the common mistake of using an unnecessary possessive apostrophe with a plural noun is something that only twats do.

Unless we're talking about Sarge, of course - he used to be dreadful for it. But I doubt if he posted the first comment here.

BGT
BGT

Betty said...

Heh heh, harsh but fair Reginald.

My old man was in the war. He fought for the allies in a Yugoslav partisan army. In the 1980's he sent a Conservative election leaflet back to their HQ with the word BULLSHIT scrawled across it in large letters. There were a lot of things to hate about him, but those are two things that redeem him.

Barry Lawrence said...

Dear BGT,

Thanks for the agreement regarding militarism. As regards your criticism of my use of English (and I still can't find the word you're on about), I hope you grow up to be fat, balding, cynical and the sort of twat I only talk to on Sunday afternoons after everyone else has left but the Summerhouse is still open. Hang on a bit.............

Dear Betty,

Good on your old man. A hero in my eyes. Fighting for something for a reason, and in an almost impossibly dangerous situation! I buy men like that, and in fact any WWII vets, beers in pubs on Remembrance Day because of their bravery. I couldn't do what they did, although you never know until the circumstances are thrust upon you.
As for Johnny in Chingford, apart from being an ignorant twat, he is also the sort of git who chants "if it weren't for us you'd all be speaking German" at international football matches featuring England and fails to see the irony of it all.
As I said, good old WWII was the last war which HAD to be fought. Everything since that has been politics.
Many apologies if you felt I had offended your dad - I'm sure you know I have the utmost respect for men (and women) of that ilk. It is Chingford Johnnies and political, war-mongering wankers I can't stand.
Keep your powder and your pants dry.

Barry Lawrence said...

Dear BGT,

Thanks for the agreement regarding militarism. As regards your criticism of my use of English (and I still can't find the word you're on about), I hope you grow up to be fat, balding, cynical and the sort of twat I only talk to on Sunday afternoons after everyone else has left but the Summerhouse is still open. Hang on a bit.............

Dear Betty,

Good on your old man. A hero in my eyes. Fighting for something for a reason, and in an almost impossibly dangerous situation! I buy men like that, and in fact any WWII vets, beers in pubs on Remembrance Day because of their bravery. I couldn't do what they did, although you never know until the circumstances are thrust upon you.
As for Johnny in Chingford, apart from being an ignorant twat, he is also the sort of git who chants "if it weren't for us you'd all be speaking German" at international football matches featuring England and fails to see the irony of it all.
As I said, good old WWII was the last war which HAD to be fought. Everything since that has been politics.
Many apologies if you felt I had offended your dad - I'm sure you know I have the utmost respect for men (and women) of that ilk. It is Chingford Johnnies and political, war-mongering wankers I can't stand.
Keep your powder and your pants dry.

Betty said...

No offence taken Reginald. I thought your response to Johnny was quite funny actually.

Arselicking ... don't you just love it?

Barry Lawrence said...

Dear Betty,
I would, no doubt, love arse-licking. I just can't seem to get round it!

Anonymous said...

Ooh Reg, you are a knob. The naughty apostrophe wasn't in your comment, it was that Chingford chap's. Read it all again and you'll get it.

You should really try changing to the decaff. Or even better, sign off now and go to the chuffin' pub. Mine's a Grolsch.

BGT

WEDNESDAY, 21 NOVEMBER 2007

SHORTS DON'T MATTER! 1. From the greatest programme ever made about association football, Barnstoneworth United FC manager Mr Dainty delivers one of the finest English soliloqiues of all time.......and afterwards, spare a thought for the club steward's wife Vera (YOU ONLY HAVE TO WATCH HALF OF THE CLIP!!).

Monday, 12 November 2007

Not everyone who agonises over their life is a painter. Some of us agonise because we're NOT painters.

....And On the Subject of Great Public Services

I know most of you have heard this marvellous song by those doctors who are the Amateur Transplants......but I think the video is a nice addition. P.S. If there are kids in the room I'd shuffle them out before hitting play.

...There's More

On the subject of those great doctors, here is their version of More Than Words which presents their challenging views on women outside Watford. The very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither, coming from Cumbria, is a huge fan. Again, get those kids out of the room!

Leave Britney Alone, Ok!!!

Oh...........my............God!!!!! My heartfelt thanks go to BGT for this. I won't say much more, I don't need to. Mr Loony of Loonytown, USA (I think it's a bloke, anyway), says it all. I fear he may be wound too tight for.....well.....well for everywhere, really!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007.

I wish I'd sung this! For non-Americans, and with apologies to all the smart arses out there who already knew, the FCC is the Federal Communications Commission and it monitors TV and radio output in the States - a sort of broadcast police - while the EPA is the Yanks' so-called Environmental Protection Agency, a body which does exactly the opposite of what it says on the can. (P.S. We went to the same school, you know? Eric and me, that is, not George, Martha, Dick and Condoleeza and me. I don't think they went to school.) P.P.S. Please see below if you are I Like The View, Malc or Doris.

To Make You Laugh and Cry

I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons. On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 4.2
Mind: 4.1
Body: 2.7
Spirit: 8
Friends/Family: 1.6
Love: 0
Finance: 5.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"

I First Saw This When I Was Little - And Loved It! I Hope That Explains a Few Things

Fuck, Fuckety, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck

It has been pointed out to me that, particularly for one whose profession is supposedly literary, my language is getting worse. My use of the "F" word is, I am told, far too prevalent and hence loses impact. To those who share this view I suggest you watch the following:

Tony Blair Isn't a Burglar - But If He Was.........

In the spirit of Gustav Holst's Jupiter and Manfred Mann's Earth Band, I feel like raising a smile today. The Big Green Thing alerted me to this and, for no other reason than to raise a smile on an otherwise crap Wednesday, I think it has to be shared. Grantham shall not have him - when he gets out of prison.

Life On The Edge - No Net.

I was wrong when I feared it might be a dull weekend, what with my pals being away, my soon-to-be ex-wife in rehab and only the dogs to play with. How wrong can a man be? This much fun must surely be illegal? Just click to see the japes and hoots I am having! Click again to see how things got REALLy exciting! Tomorrow we're going to chase pigeons.

The Good Old U.S. of A. - Guardians of Freedom and Democracy. Nothing to Be Scared of, Then?

Be honest........

IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK! JUST SCROLL DOWN AND HIT "FULL QUIZ".