Here's one. Scientists - I know chums of mine are not keen on this breed - have apparently worked out that Viagra could be a cure for jet-lag!
How have they come to this startling conclusion? By experimenting on hamsters!!!
I am reliably informed that boffins, somewhere in the good old U S of A, injected a bunch of these unsuspecting, fluffy rodents with the "woody wonder" and the lads proceeded to run frantically in their little wheels.
How the fuck this demonstrates that THEY, let alone us, are cured of jet-lag by a little encouragement in the todger department was not adequately explained. Had the "guinea pig" hamsters just trundled off a plane from Guatemala when they were given a jab and put in a rodental theme park? We were not told.
I, for one, don't give a shit if hamsters suffer from jet-lag. Fuck 'em. The bastards are only about four inches long and take up an entire seat on a flight while I am invariably squashed up against some mindless oaf from Essex who keeps banging on about how the BNP should be running the country. Let the rodental bastards (not the ones from Essex) trudge back to their cages red-eyed, I say. No, what gets me is that "scientists" always assume that what they have tested on lower mammals - particularly hamsters and mice - directly relates to us higher primates.
I mean, just because they inject a mouse with, say for instance, shampoo and it goes off to form a socialist republic in The Malvdives does not necessarily mean that us humans would be compelled to bring the works of Marx to archipelagos off the coast of India just because we'd had a snort of Head and Shoulders!
Remember that they once grafted an ear onto a mouse's back and then told us how clever they had been? They never said that the mouse could hear while it's back was turned, nor did they claim that having an ear half-way up your back was a social advantage. What with your vest, shirt and jacket it would be almost fucking useless, I would think.
No, I'm sorry, jet-lagged mice and hamsters can bugger off to Grantham, along with scientists with nothing better to do than fly rodents to exotic places!
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To Make You Laugh and Cry
I was listening to this on a Sunday, the very-soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither is a Catholic, Tom Lehrer is one of my all-time heroes and this is one of his best.............no other reasons.
On a more sombre note (and with thanks to Fish for coming up with this Woman's-Own-passes-the-time-in-the-dentist's-waiting-room nonsense), why not get a computer to tell you that you are a waste of space and your life is a sham of a mockery of a farce? Ok, it's from one of those poxy dating sites but...go on, take the test. You ain't got much to beat!!
Apparently, in my case, "computer say 'no!'"
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| Body: |  2.7 |
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2 comments:
It is indeed unforgivably stupid to "always assume" almost anything.
Don't these damn scientists know ANYTHING about the perils of over-generalising?
Good job some people in more intellectually demanding professions still have the, ahem, mental facility to see through their little game and warn the rest of the world about them, eh, Reg?
BGT
Good morning, Mr P! I have addressed this worrying issue too, but not discussed the rodential element.
I was concerned about your phrase "The bastards are only about four inches long and take up an entire seat on a flight". I think you might benefit from some viagra, old chum.
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