Eric Arthur Blair, better know to the world as George Orwell, may have been an ostensibly rich kid on the block who desperately wished that he had been born working class but that didn't stop him knocking out a spiffingly brilliant political satire.
His predictions in 1984 are, however, getting closer and closer to reality with every passing day of his namesake's administration. The latest number to be run up the flagpole to await salutes comes from his pals, the police, who want the power to stop and search ANYONE without reason. They are currently restrained by the draconian condition that they have to actually SUSPECT someone of being up to no good before they can let them walk into doors or fall down the police station steps. Well, that's not enough, apparently, what with "the war on terror" allegedly reaching a crescendo and the threat from Johnny Jihad growing by the day.
I heard some Tory clown on the wireless the other day saying that "THEY posed a huge threat" and so "THEY should expect to have their civil liberties withdrawn". Well, if the coppers already know who "THEY" are then there isn't a problem, is there? The fuzz can just calmly walk up to them in the street, say "you're nicked and will be in court on Tuesday" and the threat is averted. Trouble is, our "shoot-him-seven-times-in-the-head-just-to-make-sure-because-he's-a-darkie-with-a-rucksack" crusaders don't seem to have a fucking clue who "THEY" are and so want the power to be able to throw US ALL against the wall and tazar our tits and testicles.
Our brave boys and girls in blue wouldn't surely abuse such a Pinochet-inspired power, would they? I mean, they wouldn't actually use it to round up anyone with dark skin or long hair or sunglasses or an old car or a take-away curry or carrying a copy of The Guardian, would they? Too fucking right they would!!
I live in a region where the coppers were notorious for framing people, making up evidence, forging witness statements and beating innocent people senseless until they were prepared to confess to starting World War II! Many of those law enforcement gentlemen have since died but I remember they all had to be buried with the aid of corkscrew!
Giving the police in this country the power to arrest anyone they like for absolutely no reason is Orwellian, to say the least.
Then we've got the control freakery of TB coupled with the demands of those snapping dogs at his heels, the health Nazis. Not content with sanctioning the shooting on site of anyone who so much as reaches for a Number 6 outside the confines of a lead-lined bunker under their own home, they are now having a go at anyone who enjoys a slight tincture to ease the stress of working 18-hour days to keep him and his kind in wages, chauffeured Daimlers and research grants. They now want their "safe" alcohol unit's-per-week dictate to be emblazoned on every bottle of booze. Bearing in mind that these wankers spend their lives in hermetically sealed bags breathing pure oxygen while knitting their own yogurt and growing their own denim, their "safe" level equates to half a dry sherry and a sniff of the wine counter in Tesco's every four years!! Does anybody on God's earth actually stick to, let alone get under, the weekly guideline alcohol intake? Fuck me, I've used mine up before pulling on my pants on a Monday morning!
Then they say they've changed their minds and there is, after all, no "safe" level of alcohol for pregnant women. They also want to garrot people who don't ingest a skipful of fruit at work every day, to castrate those who don't drink 4.3 gallons of Evian during daylight hours, to laser out the eyeballs of anyone foolish enough not to cycle from their homes in Brighton to their jobs in Arbroath every day and to sandpaper the piles of anyone more than 1.2lbs heavier than Karen Carpenter! Fuck off! Just fuck off, will you!!!!
Why do these gits insist on trying to tell us how to run our lives every minute of the sodding day? Look after your own griefholes, you arseholes. If you are so obsessed with health then why do you adopt an attitude which makes everyone else want to kill you?
Here endeth the lesson. Health Nazis and the police can go to Grantham.
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2 comments:
Your third-from-last sentence should be printed on tea towels and sold at every hospital gift shop in the U.K.
Now, sensible pregnant women (presuming those aren't mutually exclusive)won't be able to have a glass of red to help them through the hell of gestation, without some condescending twit giving them the fish-eye.
You know, Grantham is almost too good for them.
Hi Arabella,
Talk of the agonies of expectant mums reminds me of a classic line once uttered by the soon-to-be ex-Mrs Pither.
We found ourselves with a bunch of earth mothers at a party and they were banging on about how they had spawned little Jakasta, Louise-Moonchild or Fluffy-Fairypants-Greer or whatever in a birthing pool or a hermetically sealed oxygen tent or a field or some such bollocks. On listening to this drivel for about an hour, my soon-to-be ex drained her 14th glass of wine of the night and said: "Do you want to know my idea of natural childbirth?
"No make-up!!"
Fine woman.
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