The Aid Epidemic

I am abandoning my self-imposed no-swearing rule so readers of a nervious disposition should get their incontinence pads out now.
Live Earth????? Oh, dear God, give me strength! This is getting bloody ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong, old Bob Geldof had a wizard wheeze back in '85 when him and that other bloke organised Live Aid, or First Aid as it should be called in hindsight. It was novel and a good time was had by all - well, everyone except the people who were starving in Africa as they couldn't get a signal and were too busy dying anyway.
Popular music concerts at Wembley and some place in America on that summer's day raised oodles of cash which was used to pay for a string of famous types to go out to Africa and walk round villages looking depressed for a while before heading back to their luxury hotels to enjoy the rest of their holiday.
Sadly, what followed was an Aid epidemic. No, not an Aids epidemic - the Africans already had one of them. This one saw a string of other gigs and events staged under the Aid banner. There was Live Aid 2, Sport Aid, Laugh Aid, Drunk Aid, Eat Aid, Hearing Aid, Lucas Aid etc. I forget them all now, there have been so many.
So, what have we got now? Well, the Aid menace has just become a pandemic with Earth Aid, or Live Earth or Live-Negative-Earth-Always-Read-The-Label Aid or whatever it's called. The theory is that it will raise awareness of the fact that we're fucking up the planet. Quite how gathering together hordes of groupies so that they can get smacked off their tits while trying to stare up the dresses of the Spice Girls helps the earth hasn't really been explained.
The fact that each gig will require at least one deciduous forest to be vapourised in order to generate the 68 krillion mega amps of electricity required to power up the amps and guitars of The Snivelling Dead and all the other acts seems to have been lost on the organisers. Then there is the petrol, diesel and aircraft fuel used up by the dickheads who go to these concerts, not to mention the fucking noise pollution they will generate when they get there.
Here's an idea. If people really want to save the world then why don't they just cut down on the shite they produce and the goodies they consume instead of organising pop concerts in the hope that will help? Jesus Christ! Listen, if Status Quo are the answer then we're worrying about the wrong bleedin' question!
Are you seriously trying to tell me that all those morons who will stuff their faces at these concerts and then get ratted out of their tiny brains while listening to some self-obsessed twats suffer for their music are going to come away determined to put a plaster on the hole in the ozone layer as a result?
It's the holier than thou aspect of the whole load of bollocks which gets on my mammaries. No-one.....REPEAT NO-ONE......involved in this ferago gives a flying carbon atom about helping Mother Earth! They just want to rock. That's fair enough, but don't ponce about saying you're saving the fucking planet!
Sorry, and this counts for the anti-smoking zealots as well, the holier than thou brigade can go to Grantham.