And It's Fuck Off From Me...........

I'd like to wish a cheery "fuck off!!" to three groups of people this morning.
Firstly, it's "fuck off!!" to our private train operators. The rail network is gridlocked, an on-time train is harder to find than a photo of the Queen flicking the Vs and we pay to sit but have to stand in Black Hole of Calcutta carriages.
Help is at hand, however, and £28 krillion or something is about to be invested in the system to ease the situation. A new station is to be built which will take the strain off the bursting-at-the-seams London Bridge station in the capital by taking on up to 10,000 commuters in the rush-hour. New Street station in Birmingham is to undergo a major revamp in an effort to actually allow trains to run through it and expansions are planned at other bottle-necks around the country.
Guess who's paying for the bulk of this? Yup, that's right, it's us, Johnny Taxpayer. "But I thought the railways were privatised?" I hear you ask. "Not completely," I reply. You see, the bits which make money have, indeed, been hived off to the corporate greed merchants but the messy side of things, the side which needs money throwing at it left, right and centre for no return, is the responsibility of us taxpayers. It's a belter! It's called The Third Way, that brave new world which ushered in "public-private sector partnerships" whereby both sides put in money but only one gets any return. In effect, "the public" pays out to help "the private" make money. Thatcher (who fucking else!) gave Blair the idea with one of her first sell-offs of our family silver - the GPO. Half of the outfit made obscene amounts of money - Telecom - and the other half made equally obscene losses - the Post Office. So, what to do? Why, you flog off the profit making bit to your business chums and you leave the poor fuckers who put you in power to pay, pay, pay for the loss-maker, with no prospect of a return (like a Virgin round-trip ticket!).
Back to the railways, what do you think has been the train operators' response to this crisis? To hide their heads in shame? To offer to walk naked through every city, town and village in the country so that residents can whip them and throw rotten fruit? No, not quite. What they've done is to hike up prices by six per cent since last year and they have warned that they're going to rack them up again soon. Thanks guys. You can pay £200 to get from Manchester to Edinburgh already and you think that we still aren't paying enough for a totally unreliable, overcrowded service which takes more than four times as long and costs four times as much as it does to fly?

Another hearty "fuck off!! today goes to my old pals, the health Nazis. They've already got us smokers standing out in the pouring rain on a night out, they've made everyone terrified of eating a host of things in case they turn them into Cyril Smith or give them cancer but at the same time they've got us eating so much fucking fruit that no-one in Great Britain has been able to have a shit for the last two years! Well, now they've set their sights on one of the most evil, disruptive and dangerous sections of our society - pensioners! Crumblies are boozing too much, they say, and it's got to stop. Bugger off, will you! Just leave them alone. They've worked all their lives - that's real work, not sitting on their fat, purulent, spotty behinds telling everyone else how to live their lives - and they can do what the fuck they like now, within reason. Bring on the pissed up pensioners, I say.

My final "fuck off!!" goes to contract cleaners in hospitals. The potentially lethal MRSA bug is rampant across the country, so much so that if you're run over by a bus you have a better chance of recovering if you stay exactly where you are for three months - i.e. lying, blood-spattered and with broken limbs, in the middle of the B339 - than if you go to hospital. But wait, what's this? Infection rates have been cut dramatically in Wales. I wonder how that has happened? Well, the only major difference between the NHS in Wales and the service in England and Scotland is that our Celtic cousins have scrapped the use of private cleaning companies and brought the cleaners back "in-house". Could there be a link, do you think?
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Grantham they go - all of them!
P.S......and the police and judicial system can fuck off as well!! (BGT told me to say that, but I do happen to agree).