Crossing The Floor - And The Electorate

"Hmmm. It's Tuesday so I must be........New Labour!!"


Beware the power of the blog - The Grantham New Town blog!!
This pathetic, ill-informed, badly written drivel has at last struck right at the heart of the Mother of Parliaments, a blow which must surely signal the start of the bloody revolution which will oust our capitalist overlords and bring a brave new era of hope and equality for all to these shores!
Yes, Quentin Davies, the Tory MP for Grantham, has decided that he was wrong all the time and everything I have ever said, ever, was right and so he has changed political horses and joined Labour's ranks.
Quentin - now there's a good, earthy, honest-to-goodness, working class name if ever there was one - was obviously converted by my reasoned and irrefutable political arguments but I fear that he may also have gone in search of the populist vote, bearing in mind that this blog is read by anything up to four people every week - well, some weeks. Good weeks, that is.
So, which particular hole did Mr Davies see in the Swiss cheese which is Conservative philosophy to make him realise the error of his ways? Was he, after all, not in favour of members of the Countryside Alliance being allowed to shoot poor people? Perhaps he disagreed with the Tory's plans to jail everyone outside Surrey? Could it have been that one day - just one - he read the Daily Mail and thought to himself "What a bigoted, small-minded, ill-informed, nasty, petty, sexist, racist, homphobic, disturbing and dangerous little rag this is"?
I'm afraid it was none of these things. It was, according to the great man himself, that he thought David Cameron was shallow, had no real principles and was obsessed with PR and courting media popularity. Well, it's obvious what you do if you feel like that, isn't it?.............you join New Labour! I mean, no-one can say Blair and his cohorts are obsessed with spin and what the papers say and that the only policies they have are the ones dictated to them by Murdoch, the Daily Mail and Wise Guys from America intent on cleaning up over here with grubby, crooked, mega-casinos.
It used to be said, in the days when I was alive, that what Mr Davies had done was to "cross the floor" or "cross the House". This euphemism for "being a hypocritical, unprincipled, self-serving bastard with the morals of crack whore who just wants to save their own skin, expense account and liberally-minded secretary by joining another mob thought to have more chance of election than the one for which they stood at the election" reflected the fact that MPs who switched from Tory to Labour or vice versa actually had to physically move from one side of the House of Commons, where followers of their previously adopted political doctrine sat, to the other side, where sat followers of the diametrically opposed doctrine they now chose to support. The trouble is, thanks to Blair, there is now virtually no difference whatsoever between the political doctrines of the Tories and New Labour (if, in fact, either of them has what could be called a doctrine) and so the phrase "crossing the floor" is redundant. It has been replaced by the more accurate term "shuffling along a little bit".
Well, Quentin - who, by the way, speaks like Leslie Phillips, just like all grass roots socialists - is obviously a man of great honour and principles. We need people like that in Grantham New Town so he can leave Grantham and......well.......just shuffle along a bit.