A Small Matter of a Fight.

I hardly ever post three times in one day but this is far too precious to leave until another time. Besides, if I don't post it now I will forget about it.
I have chums who work in the theatre. Neither they, nor the theatre involved, can be named, for obvious reasons. However, they told me this afternoon of the antics at a recent after-show party which just have to be made known to the Pither public.
The cast of the annual panto decided to have a bit of a bash when one of their number celebrated a birthday. I can't say what the panto was, suffice to say that it involved one beautiful, black-haired woman and seven seriously-below-average-height men.


Anyway, everything was going swimmingly at the after-show birthday bash, apparently, until the drink started flowing a little too freely. Several revellers then took it upon themselves to start patting the below-average-height cast members on the top of the head as they danced, a la Benny Hill with his little, balding sidekick. Dropping to the knees and boogeying followed, again to the understandable annoyance of the vertically challenged thespians. Eventually it all became too much. The SEVEN vertically challenged guys started cutting up rough - as I would have done in their situation - and a virtual fight ensued. I would have given not only my right but also my left arm to have been there to snap a photo of the mini-mayhem.
My unnamed chum also told me that this was not the only Brian Ricks-style farce to accompany a staging of this production at the theatre. He told me that one year the cast included six "dwarfs" and one "midget" who made up the chums of the dark-haired beauty. There is a difference between "dwarfs" and "midgets" - dwarfs are congenitally small, midgets are just smaller than average. The result was that the "dwarfs" started picking on the slightly taller "midget" throughout rehearsals and the shows. I can only imagine what was said during the tirades. "Hey, Lofty, give us a song", "Oy, Longfellow, Hi Ho!!!" or "What's the weather like up there, odd-one?". It's too bizarre to even contemplate.
The upshot of all this? Well, I think oversensitive dwarfs have to go to Grantham.