Richard The Turd.

Let's not beat around the hairy, female gonad blanket. Richard and Judy have GOT to go to Grantham! Well, if I am to be kind, DICK (if ever an abbreviation was appropriate!) has got to go. Judy can stay with us - any woman who whops out her massive baps (note: escape clause to exclude LaToya Jackson) at a glitzy awards ceremony is all right in my book.
Why has it taken me so long to get round to this televisual detritus? Well, I switched on the Devil's Lantern this evening and caught just 4.2 picoseconds of Dick before I managed to snatch up the remote and change to something more educational - like The Shopping Channel!
Anyway, spleen vent opened finally, here goes.
Let's just leave aside for the moment the daytime shows Dick and Jude have been/still are responsible for and the content of them. I know. That's a bit like saying let's forget for a moment about what Dr Mengele did to children but I can only roar at one subject at a time.
Richard Madeley is an ARSEHOLE of almost indescribable proportions!! A mate of mine went to journalism college with him and said he was a good chap. Well, Dick has passed a lot of shit under the bridge since then! Let's face it, Judy was a Granada TV presenter and minor celeb in the North West when her ageing hormones got the better of her and she hooked up with the plastic looks and plastic personality which are Madeley. Talk about coat tails! HE, subsequently, becomes "a celeb" and now his smarm and sickening sickliness seem to ooze out of every pore of the TV.
Madeley makes Blair look like a bloke who means what he says and actually cares. He has taken insincerity to Everest-style heights. I just get the urge to punch the screen the moment his perma-oranged fizzog and new hair-by-nonce-of-Oxford-Street bouffant appear on the tube. Aaarggh!!!!
To hear this wanker talk you would think he curses the day he wasn't given ovaries, allowed to suffer the agonies of periods or entitled to scream "Men! They're all the same!" I'm sure there isn't a woman alive who any longer believes his fake "modern man" (God, I hate that fucking phrase) empathies with the opposite sex.
This self-obsessed, arrogant, puerile and plastic "man", and I use the last word loosely, is just 168 lbs of oil, liquefied caster sugar, McFlurries and diarrhoea-like bullshit contained in a personal-trainer-tightened gelatinous bag!!!!
He has done for MANkind what Big Daddy did for hang-gliding - I fucking hate him!!
I have to say his wife seems a pretty decent cove and is by the far the most talented of the two, if, whatever it is the pair of them do, requires any skill. I have great sympathy for her, being married to that wanker.
No! Hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to fucking Grantham you go, you twat!!!