Look At It This Way..............

Rog and Jen relax at home - and enjoy an interesting sex life!

Thank God! No, let's be honest, thank Rog. I now know where I have been going wrong all these years, why the last 46 of them have seemed almost intolerable, why every waking second has been a nightmare, why I often feel like ending it all but just cannot afford the gas.......................I haven't been hanging upside down enough!
It's so obvious, now I think about it. Inversion is the way forward, if that doesn't involve too much contortion, and the person I have to thank for this "road to Damascus" enlightenment is none other than the superbly named Rog Teeter (on the edge of sanity?).
Not heard of him? You will do, soon. He is currently plugging the answer to all our ills on the telly. He has come up with a range of devices called "Teeter Hang-Ups" which are basically tables to which you strap yourself, tilt somehow and then.......hang upside down.
For the bat-shy there is the F5000 model but if you really want to sample life in the loony lane there is the super-deluxe F9000 - I assume it lets you revert to an upright position eventually and so rejoin the human race.
Our Rog, according to his website, discovered the benefits of hanging upside down when he and wife Jen were at a water skiing tournament in 1980. He doesn't exactly explain how he discovered this whacko wheeze but I would have thought all the other people at the tournament were not overly keen on hanging upside down and slamming into a wall of water at 70 mph. Anyway, Rog-baby claimed to have been suffering from back problems but these were cured when he went bat. He goes on to say, marvellously, that he "has been inverting ever since". When he calls at hotels and motels and asks to be put up for the night I assume he is just show to the wardrobe rail and handed a hook.
No doubt Rog's bank manager said he must have been having a rush of blood to the head when he asked for moolah to invest in inversion but that is just what he has done.
I always knew the Americans believed they could sell anything to anyone but I didn't actually believe they were attempting it! My mind would boggle if it had any boggle capacity left in it. Perhaps a bit of inversion would make space?
Anyway, Rog is a fine man - a complete loony, but a fine man - and he shall be spared exile to Grantham. Hanging upside down all day shall, however, be the preserve of the townsfolk. How easy is it for me to send that to Grantham? I can do it standing on my head.